June 2008 Archives
Please, for the love of god, stop "re-creating" the following things for your photo shoots: anything Marilyn Monroe has ever done, anything Brigitte Bardot has ever done, anything James Dean has ever done, anything Bettie Page has ever done, The Wizard of Oz (I'm looking at you, New York), that late-night diner painting, anything from the '80s in an attempt to be ironic, Barbarella, Audrey Hepburn's cigarette holder and pearls photo from Breakfast at Tiffany's, scenes from Bond movies, the Abbey Road album cover, or the Rat Packers doing anything, especially in Vegas. It is played. It makes dead people roll around in their graves. Nobody likes that.
And just in case you get any ideas, don't start re-creating: Dogs Playing Poker, Britney's crotch shots, Einstein's "Wazzup?!" photo, Friends drinking milkshakes, the Pink Floyd back catalog poster every stoner has in their dorm room, Lunch Atop a Skyscraper, this thing, or this thing.
In the battle of ridiculously stupid game shows specifically created to fill up the summer with cheap lighthearted and forgettable filler programming based on popular Japanese-style game shows where people do stupid stunts, there is no clear winner. Well there is, but it is Ninja Warrior on G4 and it is actually a Japanese game show. As far as these new knockoffs on ABC, there's good and bad about both of them, but I can't really see either of them sticking around for all that long. That won't stop me from trying to determine which one will reign supreme based solely on their premiere episodes, however.
You've probably heard about this Baby Borrowers show, right? You know, the one where five teenage couples are given the responsibility of caring for infants, toddlers, teenagers, and the elderly... Good luck! It will be like watching Jamie-Lynn Spears and her fiancé care for their new baby girl. Although I haven't yet seen the show, I can already determine the outcome just by looking at the preview clip (see below). They think they are responsible and well equipped to handle screaming babies at 2 AM. You know, because they are "mature" for their age. Give the couples five hours, they will be crying, screaming at one another and pulling their hair out. Give them one week and they are exhausted, need a break, and realize this is a lot harder than it seems. Give them the full six weeks and all five couples realize how much work caring for another human being really is. The social experiment will hopefully teach them what it really means to compromise and to take on adult responsibility. I don't even need to watch the show to know what happens, but it might be pretty entertaining to watch ten teenagers fail miserably... or maybe learn a thing or two.
I am an Olympic junkie (my obsession will probably reach its fever pitch by the time August 8th rolls around, expect lots of rants about scheduling) and I'm already feeling baffled and overwhelmed by the prospect of having to figure out how the new gymnastics judging system is going to work.
I, like many others (there are others, right?), consider myself a bit of a sofa judge. I pay little attention to the popular sporting event in the off years, but by the time it rolls around I feel overly qualified from my sedentary position to critique how well someone performed on the balance beam or if they really stuck their landing.
So there's a company that's making a Knight Rider-themed global positioning system for your car. It's black, with flashing red lights, and it speaks in the voice of the original KITT, William Daniels (not the new KITT, Val Kilmer, thank god). And while this sounds pretty damn cool and totally worth the $300, we can see some problems with it.
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