I've been staring at this story for a couple days and thinking about writing up the info in case you are a Big Brother fan who lives in the Los Angeles area and likes to get dressed in business casual style. (If you are, you can go see the evictions in person...) But the reason that I haven't gotten around to posting about it before is because I've just been irritated by the fact that the show is sticking to the ridiculous schedule it first employed during the lame "winter" season just a few short months ago. As I ranted in my gallery of the 10 Most Annoying Things About Season 9, the Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday airings basically just suck, and make the show irritating for anyone who cares about what is actually happening in the house and bothers to purchase either the live feeds or watch Showtime After Dark. If I get the live feeds (or read the blogs of those who do), which is presumably something that CBS wants you to do since they offer them, then by the time the Sunday episode airs all those days later, I've already figured out who was nominated and usually who has won the power of Veto, and Veto isn't even dealt with until the Tuesday show. By the time the Tuesday CBS airing plays out, the houseguests have already been back and forth like 400 times on who they are going to evict. This basically makes the Sunday and Tuesday airings pretty much useless to me, especially since they don't even have the added bonus of having the Chenbot making odd wardrobe choices. I'm already kind of dreading the next Big Brother since I've barely had time to recuperate from the aforementioned winter edition, and this news doesn't make me any happier. It's gonna be a long summer.

In what universe do we witness both Rachael "Yippy Dog" Ray and Tyra "Love My Fat Ass" Banks lauded with awards and given thank-you speech airtime? Why in the Daytime Emmys universe of course! The soaps and chat show circle jerk took place on Friday, and as always, there were winners and losers. In many cases the winners were, in fact losers, as in the case of the aforementioned Ray. (My view of Ms. Banks is a bit more complicated and not worth getting into here, but I'm thinking that any instance in which Banks gets more ammo for her delusions of omnipotent, Oprah-style grandeur is not necessarily a good thing.) I don't give a dang about the soap opera winners (As the World Turns swept four categories but really, who cares?) but I am happy that Ellen DeGeneres won for Outstanding Daytime Host (one of four Emmy wins this year), because she is the only TV personality besides Joel McHale who has managed not to grate on my last effing nerve. Props to the Emmy judges also for giving Everyday Italian its due, and for finally recognizing the zeitgeist-y behemoth that is The View -- a show that has been nominated ten times over the course of its run and just this year nabbed an actual award. Two, in fact. Say what you will about its choice of topics, the show is a force to be reckoned with. And further proof that Oprah is becoming obsolete: the daytime diva earned a measly two awards. Hubris, dudes. It's a bitch.

Colbert's at his finest in this clip. He's all up in arms because kids are eating healthier foods instead of snacking on cookies. Fruit that isn't in loop or pebble form? That's positively un-American (his words, but I completely agree... just don't let my nutritionist find out.) Anyway, he blames this trend squarely on the shoulders of one Mr. Cookie Monster. And that is exactly where this belongs. Ever since the muppet started in with the "cookies are a sometimes food" shtick, kids are following his example, and maybe some adults too. Not Colbert though, he gets in an intense debate with the googly-eyed creature who ends up revealing way too much about his "Robert Downey Jr." like addictions to the delicious treats. This clip may be NSFW just because you'll be cracking up so much. It's a good thing my office mate is home sick today.

Tired of us telling you what we think all the time? Don't answer that, it is one of those rhetorical questions. But if you are, now is the time to do something about it. The Tubey Award categories for this year have been chosen and announced, now we want to hear from you on who you think the nominees should be. This isn't like those boring old Emmys where we tell you who we nominated and who wins. We actually give you a say, for a change. So get those thinking caps on and start deciding who should be the most appalling reality star and who the character most in need of killing off is. Then tell us who you've picked here.

If there was ever a time to take up swearing, it's now. George Carlin, comedian, is dead at the age of 71, from heart failure. The Manhattan-born comedian had been doing comedy since 1960, and was the host of the very first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. Before that, he made history for his routine about the seven words you can't say on television, which he was arrested for performing at a comedy show in 1972 (the charges were dropped). The routine later reinforced the government's ability to sanction radio stations when it was played on the air, for some reason. (Hey, thanks, Mr. DJ!)

We've heard all about the injuries on the set of Celebrity Circus, but we're shocked that this act didn't warrant a trip to the emergency room. While all of the other celebrities were busy twisting and tossing themselves around for acrobatic acts, Christopher Knight teamed up with a fire clown to entertain the crowd. I'm not sure it was entertaining, but it was I guess kind of interesting to see him put out flames with his mouth and put a stick of dynamite down his pants which then made his crotch explode (I am so not kidding). All the while he, and the other clown who seems to have actual talent for like juggling and firesticks and stuff, are ogling and fighting over a bikini clad girl. Classy. Real classy.

Despite the debacle that is Million Dollar Password, I'm trying to remain optimistic about the fact that they are planning a remake of Match Game for TBS. But if I see spotlights and intense mood music and glitz with levels of money that the contestants can earn by answering questions correctly, I'm so out of there. What I want is a cheesy set, a skinny microphone and Sarah Silverman making Rashida Jones blush while Super Dave Osbourne and Norm MacDonald sit around making lame jokes about wanting to eff Matt Damon or Jimmy Kimmel for that matter. That is what I would call a good time. Comedian Andrew Daly of Semi-Pro "fame" is hosting this potential nightmare in the making and to me that's the worst thing I've heard all day. I didn't actually see Semi-Pro but just hearing that Daly is a comedian makes me nervous. The great thing about Gene Rayburn was that he was charming, but didn't go out of his way to crack jokes, he left that to the panelists and he was just the straight man who laughed at everything, but still kept the ship moving ahead. Hopefully Daly can fill those massive shoes, because in my mind, the host is what will make or break this show. Still, I'll watch, of course, I mean, if only to see what answer Sarah Silverman puts for this one: "The hotdog vendor put the meat in between the ____."

24 will fast-forward four years next season for "dramatic purposes," according to a Fox spokesperson. (That's genius, by the way. From now on, every time I do something that doesn't make sense I'm just going to say I did it for "dramatic purposes." Office-mate: "Why are you talking to that photo of Smokey the Bear, Mindy?" Me: "Dramatic purposes." This will work.) Considering this show has about as much respect for temporal continuity as Jack does for Muslims (I went there!), the leap will put the story in the year 2017 and Bauer at the ripe old age of 52, according to the New York Post's carbon-dating. But don't worry, this spokesperson guy is pretty sure the writers are just going to pretend that isn't happening. "We've always built in significant passages of time between seasons of '24.' Luckily, like all great iconic characters, Jack Bauer is ageless." Translation: Shut up! We do what we want! Now I see where Jack gets it.

Have you guys heard? The D-List is the new A-List. Just ask EMMY WINNER Kathy Griffin. Or better yet, ask the fools producing a new Fox reality show called Gimme My Reality Show! in which, um, reality-show D-listers (which in the real world makes them Q-Listers) compete to, um, star in a reality show. It's so meta my head just exploded. A few of the peeps on board thus far are Santino Rice, he of Project Runway Season Two fame and Traci Bingham of Baywatch, which is apparently a reality show (?) now. A panel of judges made up of reality show producers and reality show A-Listers (H-listers in actual fact) will judge contestants on their ability to like, throw a hissy fit and alienate their castmates, presumably. Clearly Santino would make for a killer reality show star. I mean CLEARLY. The man has more fierce bitchy queen shenanigoats stored in his pinky than Traci has in BOTH of her silicon boobs. And I can't imagine anyone else who could even come close to his diva-tude. OR CAN I?

In the world of dancing competitions shows So You Think You Can Dance is my first love, but America's Best Dance Crew is moving up and finishing a close second lately. The thing that I enjoy about both of them? Aside from the fact that they both involve Shane Sparks... is that they expect their people to be talented and rise to challenges, unlike say Dancing With the Stars where the celebrities need to be coddled until they are passable, or Master of Dance where the talentless are celebrated for merely being able to shake their ass to the tune of the music. On my favorite shows nobody contenders become household names by seriously tearing up the dance floor.