Ah, good old Joan Rivers. She gives me hope that no matter how senile or pill-addled I get in my dotage, I can still make my bread and butter. Who doesn't giggle with glee when she interviews people on the red carpet wearing shades to keep the camera from seeing her wonky Paula Abdul eyes and asks inappropriate questions that seem not so much intentional as plain clueless. Love it!

Not satisfied to exploit every inch of his own being and empire, Donald Trump has resorted to pimping out his daughter Ivanka for a new reality dating show called Date My Daughter. To quote the press release/casting call: "'Date My Daughter,' starring Donald Trump and his daughter Ivanka, features dads helping their daughters find true love, with daddy's approval [Ed's note: PUKE! Any grown woman who calls her father "daddy" needs to quit it. NOW.] Casting producers are looking for socialites [Eds' note: Again, puke.] between the ages of 21-30 years old who are attractive, possess a great attitude and a generous spirit. The dads should be affluent and interested in helping their daughters find true love." Here's a thought. Maybe these "affluent dads" should mind their own damned business and/or explore why they take such an abiding interest in their daughters' dating practices. In therapy.

Meet RuPaul's Drag Race hopeful Mizz Cori. When she's not impersonating police officers covered in Boy George makeup, she enjoys TLC songs, re-purposing Star Trek logos as tasteful nipple pasties, resembling Chris March and working that geisha hand fan! And I enjoy her. Excuse her beauty and cast your vote now!

I know there are legions who will disagree with me, but I just don't get The Three Stooges. In fact, I find them remarkably unfunny. I tried watching again this morning, hoping that my mind would be changed since I'm older and I've been watching some rather crappy summer TV lately so my standards have officially been lowered, but that was not the case. Don't get me wrong. I actually have no problem watching people inflicting pain on one another; I watched all of Jackass and Viva La Bam and Skating With the Celebrities, but this "scripted" show, that focuses on dumb people doing dumb things without much of a story behind it grates my last nerve.

In an attempt to become more like Grey's Anatomy (but with more bloody bodies) ER has cast four hot young things as regulars for next season (which, if there is a god, is supposedly the final season ... though they've said that like the last two years). Two guys who I don't recognize, Julian Morris and Victor Rasuk, will join Emily Rose (of Jericho fame) and the formerly famous Roswell starlet Shiri Appleby as new interns. Hmm... didn't House try adding a bunch of whipsmart new docs last season? Look how well that turned out. Anyway, given that the show has become increasingly reliant on having everyone hook up with each other (yeah, we get it, John Stamos and Linda Cardellini are attractive... does that mean they need to sleep with everyone?) we're sure these four newbies will fall victim to the charms of the dreamy Gates or Neela's pretty innocent seeming glare. Though the gals will probably also be subjected to some inappropriate comments and leering from Morris as well.

I have two ambitions in life, and two ambitions alone. Priority number one is to ensure that Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight" is in every karaoke bar songbook in the world. Since I have failed miserably at priority number one so far, I give you my second ambition: to get more people watching FX's bit of comedy genius, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If the clip below (featuring a cat named "Special Agent Jack Bauer", a Serpico impersonator and Danny DeVito saying the line, "Put an egg in your shoe and beat it") doesn't persuade you to give a Tivo Season Pass to this series, well then I just don't know what.

So last month we were sort of excited about the prospect of the Human Tetris game show import. But then Saturday I saw them auditioning freaky people for this game show at the local Dave & Busters (I like their mini-burgers, please don't judge). Anyway, Hole in the Wall, the nice pretty American title, is exactly what it sounds like, but looks even stupider than you can possibly imagine.

At the beginning of every week (usually Monday, which is also today) I like to go to Oprah.com to see which episodes I should Tivo in the coming week for my drunken idiot friends and I to watch and make fun of at a later date. Usually this makes for a pretty fun experience, but this week not so much. Here's what Oprah has lined up for us drunken idiots:

Someone named Daisy (who was described to me as "the one who looks like Janice from the Muppets" -- not helpful, Angel) recently told TMZ that she had done some dirty things with Bret Michaels, even though he has a girlfriend (someone named Ambre, which I'm told is pronounced "Amber" and not "Am-Bree" like it's spelled -- not helpful, whoever named Ambre). This has apparently become very big news because Ambre has taken to her Myspace blog to defend her man's honor. Keep in mind her man is Bret Michaels, so I don't really understand why she's bothering, but here's what she had to say:

"Daisy has no involvement with Bret and my relationship, therefore there is no validity to her statement."

So yeah, he totally nailed that Daisy person. Probably wore a red bandana when he did it, too. He's Bret Michaels. I'm Mindy Monez. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I'm so confused! Is Fox a soul-less trash receptacle for right-wing news media and dehumanizing reality shows or a haven for groundbreaking comedy programming? Maybe, like that Young Republican you dated who could simultaneously defend Scalia and crack jokes that made you pee, it's a little bit of both?

It seems the suits over there are finally coming to their senses, because The Hollywood Reporter is dishing dirt that the network inked a first-look deal with the one and only Jason Bateman to develop a slew of new series. This two years after they cancelled the Bateman vehicle (and stroke of comic genius) Arrested Development. But now the B-Man -- who recently directed the pilot for the new Fox comedy series Do Not Disturb and will lend his voice to the upcoming Mitchell Hurwitz cartoon chucklefest Sit Down and Shut Up -- is back in the saddle.