July 2008 Archives
In July, 2007, the Biography Channel announced that William Shatner would be given his own talk show, and the world froze. Babies stopped crying, birds stopped flying and dogs stopped licking themselves. Then nothing happened for over a year. Cut to today: the Biography Channel announces that Shatner's Raw Nerve will air on August 19. Nobody notices.
So it's official -- Chris "Mr. Big" Noth is leaving Law & Order: Criminal Intent, and will be replaced by Jeff "The Fly" Goldblum. I know, your head is exploding, right? It's the end of an era! The dude was on the original Law & Order from 1990-1995, then came back to CI ten years later! He's a, whaddayacallit, an edifice! Of course, Goldblum is no slouch. Not only was he a Jewish cowboy in Buckaroo Banzai and a cocaine dealer in Deep Cover, but he was actually a cop for seven episodes of 2007's short-lived Raines.
Hey, remember "The One Where a Bunch of People Were Spreading the Rumor That There Was Going to Be a Friends Movie"? Yeah, well, apparently there isn't actually going to be one. It was all a clever ruse. Stupid rumor mill!
Visitors to the Sol system's "City of Sin," Las Vegas, will have one less place to spend their hard-won gold-pressed latinum come this fall. The Star Trek Experience, a theme restaurant, museum and tourist attraction located in the Las Vegas Hilton dedicated to all things Star Trek, will close its doors on September 1, after 10 years of waiters in Klingon costumes. First the new Star Trek movie gets delayed, and now this? What kind of God would allow something like this to happen? Also, what does God need with a starship?
If you're a fan of the films of Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) -- and who isn't, really? -- then you've probably heard of the British TV show they collaborated on from 1999-2001, called Spaced, starring Pegg as a comic book artist and Jessica Hynes (nee Stevenson) as his roommate-of-necessity. If you've seen it at all, it's likely on a region-free DVD player, a VHS tape, YouTube or (gasp!) a bootleg DVD -- but no longer. Spaced will come out on a Region 1 DVD on July 22!
by Angel Cohn, a terrible poet, who doesn't watch The Bachelorette but has been forced to edit the weecaps all season.
DeAnna dear, it's time to choose,
Which bachelor will be denied,
Between these two beaus you just can't lose,
Though for us at home, this season has been refried.
Even though you've kissed and more
And come across like a whore
These last two months have been quite a bore.
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