The premiere episode of the excellent TNT drama The Closer is tonight. As I mentioned in today's GTC, it's kind of schlamazing. In a nutshell: Brenda and Fritz have moved in together and are still adjusting to cohabitation and its attendant maelstrom. A photojournalist is trailing Brenda -- and getting in the way of her investigation, which raises some interesting questions about voyeurism and the moral responsibilities of the press. At the center of the action is an arson crime that sees the return of season one's homicidal pyromaniac Billy Croelick, whose chemistry with Brenda is ... sizzling. In anticipation of the TV event of the, um, week (?), I had the opportunity to do a little round-table thingy with the show's star Kyra Sedgwick, whose no-BS New York gal personality stands in sharp contrast to the spitfire Southern sweetheart Brenda Johnson. I guess that's why they call it "acting." Here are the highlights:

According to GLAAD, FX is the most gay-friendly network in all the land! The advocacy group has awarded the network a "good" rating in their second annual GLAAD Network Responsibility Index, an achievement largely due to Nip/Tuck and less largely due to all those King of the Hill reruns. Showtime and HBO were a close second and third in the cable category, respectively, while A&E, Spike, TBS, USA, and TNT could really stand to gay it up a little. Those guys were given a big ole "failing" grade. Bravo and Logo don't seem to have been rated, I'm guessing because it just goes without saying.

I was one of the lucky people (depending on your perspective) who actually got to see Ian McKellen live in King Lear last year. It was a fine production, highlighted by the fact that Magneto drops trou (well actually he doesn't drop it, he more like pulls off his nightshirty costume over his head in a fit). It got quite a bit of attention at the time and it's run at BAM (The Brooklyn Academy of Music) was sold out. I actually had to go to one of the boroughs in order to see a very long play.

Well, I guess this conceivably paves the way for Gio.... or not. Christopher Gorham, aka hottie geek accountant Henry, is heading off to Harper's Island (the CBS midseason show) and won't be back on Betty this year. OK, I can understand that. I mean, Henry's got a baby and lives halfway across the country, that would just not work for the plucky Betty Suarez... no matter how much she may want it to. So maybe Betty chose to head off with Gio to Italy in the finale? It's possible, but sandwich-making hottie Freddy Rodriguez is only expected to be on the show for one episode this season. Does this mean that the potential lovers had a spat while they were abroad? One can only hope. Either way it has to be more satisfying than who PJ picked on My Boys... at least I hope. If they pull that crap where Betty decides that she is going to chose herself instead of one of the two loverboys, I will officially be annoyed. That cliche is really, really getting overused lately.

I am So. Effing. Excited. For this new show called Queen Bees premiering tonight on The N. It's a reality show that Videogum describes perfectly as a hybrid of Mean Girls and Intervention: seven self-described Queen Bees (or Queen B's for betch, more like) are thrown into a house together and all manner of experts attempt to rehab them and rid them of their diva ways. The B who comes out most changed by the experience gets your standard prize money, which I'm sure she will totally donate to like AmFar or something and not spend on sparkly eyeliner and t-shirts declaring that they are princesses who are going to steal your boyfriend. There is a ten-minute clip up on The N's website and it is ah-may-zing. After I watched it, I simply could not contain my joy. Can I share some thoughts with you, fair readers? Good! I was hoping you'd say that!

Wow. That's all I can say. Wow. ...Okay, I guess I should say more, since I'm the one who begged to write a gushing love note to the Season 2 premiere of Burn Notice, the USA Network's sizzling spy series. I should point out that it was actually my very first episode, having not seen any Season 1 episodes, I'd only read M. Giant's handy cheat sheet, so it was like getting thrown into the middle of a firefight with only the barest idea of what to expect. Hey, kinda like how ex-spy Michael Westen started off the episode! Here're my five favorite things about the premiere.

Few things cause me to weep openly more consistently than Quantum Leap episodes, so I think it's safe to say I'd follow Scott Bakula anywhere... even if where he's going involves Ray Romano. That's right. My Scott Bakula (who I affectionately nicknamed "Dracula" when I was 10. I wasn't very clever back then) passion runs that deep! The former time-traveling physicist has signed on for Men of a Certain Age, a TNT drama pilot co-starring Ray Romano and Andre Braugher, who's one of those actors whose name I know but whose work I've never actually seen. Anyway, I'm sure he's very talented.

For those of you who A.) are sad that the Office season is over and B.) can't get enough Kevin on the show, your wishes are both granted. Yesterday NBC released the first in a new series of webisodes starring Brian Baumgartner as the dopey Kevin, who could conceivably appear to be mentally handicapped to people who just met him. In this series, Kevin tries to get a bank loan to pay off his gambling debts. New episodes will appear every Thursday for the rest of the month on Hulu. Check out the first installment after the jump.

The producers responsible for The Baby Borrowers will be airing a reunion special on August 6th in order to defend their show and prove that it's "more than just entertainment." Apparently, in light of all the recent (lousy) press, executives feel they need to prove that the show is really teaching teenage couples -- and, by proxy, America -- an important life lesson about parenting. With this in mind, I came up with my own list of the ten invaluable life lessons TV has afforded me. I don't mean to brag, but think I've got the world pretty well figured out. And I didn't even have to leave my couch!

Just the other day I was thinking about how the world needs a little more Michael Ian Black, and wham! Providence! Thanks to Videogum, I just found out that MIB is hosting a new, and to my mind hilar-town tv show debuting next week on Comedy Central called Reality Bites Back. (See what they did there?!) The premise is a gaggle of comedians who live in a house and have their lives taped to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. No seriously! Ok fine it's a little more complex than that: ten comedy hopefuls will actually compete in a series of challenges inspired by other reality shows, including Fear Factor (night vision is employed in order to witness contestants revealing intimate secrets about themselves in a dark room, only to discover that their moms are sitting there with them!) and Rock of Love (some sort of shower scene is involved). Ludicrous? Yes. But that's the point, see? It's called irony. Maybe if you lived in Brooklyn you'd have a firmer grasp on that by now. Not so ironic? The prize money: $50K y'all! That can buy an awful lot of pudding.

Watch the ten minute trailer and form your own damned opinion for once. Jeez!