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The Telefile
ABC's Summer Monday's: The Most Boring Night on TV

I never thought I'd be wishing for the day when the Bachelorette was on again... but that was before I saw what ABC had to put in its place. Monday nights on the alphabet kick off with High School Musical: Get in the Picture which I ranted about yesterday a bit. It is so tediously dull that I actually conked out on the couch watching it. Never a good sign. It's just so sanitary and kind and up with people that it makes me want to bang my head into the wall, except Nick Lachey's soothing voice calms me down and puts me in a deep slumber instead so then when I wake up I have forgotten the torture I've been subjected to. It is like one of those little mind wiper things from Men in Black or the pills that they give people on Torchwood... but then see commercials and get flashbacks. Until I doze off again. This vicious circle will probably keep on going for months.

Because of the snooze-inducing HSM, it wasn't until last night that I had a chance to watch ABC's other new offering Wanna Bet. This Gong Show-esque game show is so utterly pointless that I just can't understand how it got on Primetime TV in the first place. This from a person who has been compulsively watching Wipeout and even tuned in for the first episode of Hurl! Now Wanna Bet isn't gross. (Unless you consider licking CDs to figure out who the artist is is gross. I don't. I just think it is peculiar.) It isn't really even funny. It seems to entail these two unfunny host guys Ant (not the comedian from Celebrity Fit Club... some British dude) and Dec (another British dude) putting America's Got Talent rejects to the test.

"Celebrities" (and I use that term loosely) like Tom Green, Harland Williams and Sherri Shephard bet on whether the morons doing the stunts (like hula hooping a tractor wheel or licking CDs) can achieve the task set in front of them, and win cash for charities. Supposedly. I felt to bad that George Takei was among the celebs on the premiere episode. I feel like he could do better things than this... like Celebrity Family Feud or something. It should be noted that I also fell asleep watching this show. Doesn't bode well... unless you are an insomniac and are looking for a cure for your restless nights. TiVo some of this and if you are still awake after this double whammy, there's always...

The Mole (aka summer's biggest reality TV disappointment). With a bunch of boring contestants who are more interested in scheming and alliances than playing the game and putting together clues, this show has gone from one of my favorites to totally unwatchable. I can barely make it through episodes. I usually end up filling in the blanks by reading our fabulous weecaps. Only a few more episodes before they reveal who wins and I just couldn't even care less at this point. It is too blah to even pay attention to the clues.

That's ABC's triple threat. I say steer clear if at all possible, unless you are in dire need of a nap. Then go for it.

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