Noooooooooooooooooo! My very favorite Armenian giantess Khloe Kardashian is going to jail! Apparently KK violated parole for a DUI from a few years back and the mean old judge threw the book at her! I hope her sentence falls in to the Nicole Richie space-time continuum, which would mean that she'd be in jail for a total of about twelve minutes.

I'm trying to look on the bright side of things and see this as wake-up call Hollywood (or at least a producer at E!) needs to give Khloe her own reality show and/or barely fictionalized lady prison movie. The youngest Kardashian girl is the runaway star of the otherwise kind of stupid Keeping Up With The Kardashians. She's feisty ('member the time she started a fight the guy at the car dealership?) and independent (instead of letting her sisters set her up on a blind date, she goes out partying with her girlfriends) and totally hilarious (when she suggests that Kim get her boyfriend Reggie a leopard for their anniversary, when she refers to Bruce Jenner's wang as a "sau-seeej"). This is a woman who's time has come. Kim might have the booty, but Khloe has the brains, and when gravity fails, what would you rather be watching on your HDTV?