BLOGS
I remember it like yesterday: After six hours of karaoke and three bottles of wine, I stumbled home to pass out in front of the TV. Collapsing on my couch, I turned on the boob tube only to discover that mother effer, it was Super Bowl Sunday. Sure there was only one channel that the game was on, but every other channel seemed to be airing some type of commentary or football themed craptastic-ness. All I really wanted was a Law and Order marathon or similar. I flipped drunkenly between channels, spouting occasional frustrated obscenities every time I landed on anything depicting a pigskin or a man in a helmet or John Madden. And then I found myself staring at a screen full of puppies. Puppies on a small, to-scale football field. Puppies playing and peeing and drinking water while a commentator affecting his best approximation of a sportscaster announced that the beagle on left field was being suspended for "unnecessary roughness." According to a press release, "Now to counter the Summer Olympics, Animal Planet plans to introduce Puppy Games 2008. With more than 30 puppies representing a multitude of nations all within one Animal Planet Stadium, each will compete for the Gold in a variety of events including swimming, boxing, soccer and even gymnastics." Did I just die and go to heaven? Someone pinch me. Representing a multitude of nations????? Puppy gymnastics? Will they be testing for puppy performance enhancing drugs? I just seriously had eighteen heart attacks from cute overload.
The Puppy Games 2008 will air August 8th at 6 PM EST. Be there or have your humanity called into question by me. And God.
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