While doing a little bit of research for a How I Met Your Mother article, I stumbled across a tidbit of news about the show I missed when it first popped up -- there will be a book of the Bro Code. Yes, the set of bylaws that Barney, Ted, Marshall and bros everywhere adhere to will finally be available in one handy tome, comprising all 86-plus tenets -- which will be a great relief to fans who have been compiling their own (incomplete) lists on the Internet, as well as guys who are unsure whether it's okay to hook up with their friends' moms. (According to Article 89, it is not.)

I've come to accept that in-between watching exciting sporting events I'll have to suffer through Mary Carillo's random adventures in China and a slew of sob stories, but last night pushed me over the edge. They devoted way too long to sprinter Sanya Richards and her relationship with soon-to-be husband Aaron Ross. He's an NFL star. She's a track star. He won a Super Bowl ring. She wears a massive engagement ring. It was all staged and came across very scripted, and then there was this ridiculous faux race at the end where there was some trash talk and then she left him in the dust... literally. They had time to put in dust as a special effect for this segment. Annoying? Yes. Pointless? Yes. Especially considering that while she was a favorite to win her 400m race, she ended up coming in third place. Still a medal, but not the color she wanted, or the one that we were led to believe was hers for the taking. I wonder if she could have moved faster if she left the giant ring in her locker.

I know I speak for the legions of members of the cult of Jemaine Clement (you know who you are, ladies and germs!) when I say I was aghast to learn that he of luscious lips and gently sloping forehead wed his longtime girlfriend Miranda Manasiadis over the weekend. Apparently Jemaine had been quietly dating the ho for some time and decided to make an honest woman of her. Damn you and your chivalrous Kiwi ways, Jemaine!

Man, Christina Applegate has been dealt a load of you-know-what in her thirty-six years. She spent the first part of her career establishing herself as a dumb ho in Married With Children and Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead, and the rest of it up to now trying to prove that she is the polar opposite. Add to that a not-so-fun divorce from Blue Steel-lookin' hubby Johnathon Schaech and a plagued Broadway debut (she took that whole break a leg thing sort of literally). But things were starting to look up! She killed in Anchorman as an able comedic sparring partner with Will Ferrell, and even had some success with a new ABC sitcom Samantha Who? (Full disclosure -- I kind of love that show.) So when the poor darlin' announced she had boob cancer, my heart went out to her.

Is there a person in the country who doesn't know about Michael Phelps and his awesome achievement yet? Probably not. Some aren't as enthusiastic about the geeky 23-year-old and his misguided fashion sense, but that's just part of being in the spotlight. I'm sure there will be more people picking on his dorky behavior. And then there are others who think he can do no wrong (people other than me... of course). In the great tradition of the Chuck Norris facts (a site dedicated to the man, myth and legend) comes Michael Phelps facts (these people have way too much time on their hands... and clearly so do I since I've been reading their site). My favorite "fact" of the moment is: "Ancient Greeks used to sacrifice 100 cows to Poseidon who would then turn around and sacrifice them to Michael Phelps." Impressive. I'm wasting way too much time laughing at these.

Isn't it weird that no one has seen the new 90210? Well, there's a good reason for it -- the CW is refusing to send screeners to anyone, they don't care who the hell you are. They sent the following email out to everybody with an Internet connection today:

"The CW and our studio partner CBS Paramount Network Television have made the strategic marketing decision not to screen "90210" for any media in advance of its premiere. We're not hiding anything - simply keeping a lid on 90210 until 9.02, riding the curiosity and anticipation into premiere night, and letting all our constituents see it at the same time."

I can't say for sure that the fact that there's nothing live (and a semi-final of beach volleyball does not count at all) is making my enthusiasm for the Olympics wane ever so slightly, but given that some of my favorite sports were airing last night and I wasn't screaming at the TV and cheering along, I'd say that it makes a big difference. Especially if, for instance, you are looking up how to spell a Jamaican athlete's name and just happen to see a big screaming news story that says "Nastia Liukin upset on uneven bars," like I was yesterday. This crap should have spoiler alerts in big letters. Huge. (Speaking of which, during the course of writing this post and trying to figure out how to properly spell the names of pole vaulters, I came across the results of tonight's Olympic balance beam competition. Fan-freakin'-tastic. I'm so angry right now. Not that I'm unhappy with the results, I'm just irritated to know. This is just like the Nagano Olympics and the Tara Lipinski thing all over again. Ugh.) I know it has technically been completed and therefore is not a spoiler, but I didn't have any opportunity to see it on any of the twelve channels playing Olympics all day, every day at my desk, so therefore, it is spoiler alert-worthy. So I spent the entire night basically watching the uneven bars just waiting to see the big judging scandal that has rocked the Olympic world this week.

At one point, professional wrestlers Hulk Hogan and Jesse "The Body" Ventura were on top of the world. Hogan was arguably the face of America in the 1980s, and the star of numerous films that hilariously pointed out how muscular he was. While Ventura's film career was not quite as impressive, he did manage to parlay his frequent appearances in Arnold Schwarzenegger movies into a public seat, acting as governor of the great state of Minnesota from 1999-2003, much to the dismay of Garrison Keillor. But now, with their careers on the decline, they have fallen into the quicksand trap from which there is no escape: reality television.

So apparently there's this thing called the "Olympics" happening right now in some place called "Beijing." I dunno, that's what they tell me. I've been trying to avoid all the hoopla, so certainly all the cutesy human-interest/spoof segments that The Today Show regulars have been doing have been no more than a blip on my radar. But today, you guys? My roommate hollered for me and made me watch this amazing footage of Matt Lauer and Al Roker doing rhythmic gymnastics -- you know, the ribbon dancing thing -- and I couldn't help it! I found it adorable. I mean in addition to the fact that I got to ogle Lauer in a Lycra body stocking (good morning!) there was the sheer darlingness of watching these two shuffle daintily around on tippy-toe, making pretty designs in the air with their pretty ribbons like pretty little gymnasts of love! Oh, and wait til you get to 2:10 -- we've got a cameo from a supercilious-looking Brian "Yumtown" Williams! Ahhhh, I can't handle it! It's too much! It's almost as amazing as Spaghetti Cat! No, it's not. But it's still rad! Watch it and squeal with glee after the jump.

Listen, webisodes are something that's been happening a lot lately, and I think we should all just get used to them. They're not going away any time soon, and while some of them may be terrible (The Heroes ones), others are actually pretty good (The Office ones). One web-only/minisode-only series I've come across that doesn't suck too bad is Gemini Division, which stars Rosario Dawson as a cop whose gay boyfriend's pacemaker programs him to kill. At least that's what I gathered from the first installment, which was released today. I could be proven wrong in subsequent episodes. It also may or may not be set in the future -- everyone in it wears current clothing (translation: no pointy shoulders or floor length robes, which defies Hollywood's strict vision of future fashion), but Dawson's character uses this webcam technology with all kinds of coding and activity on the sides like in The Matrix, so yeah, most likely the future. And to my knowledge, pacemakers do not currently program people to kill... yet, so there's another argument for the future setting.