BLOGS

Listen, webisodes are something that's been happening a lot lately, and I think we should all just get used to them. They're not going away any time soon, and while some of them may be terrible (The Heroes ones), others are actually pretty good (The Office ones). One web-only/minisode-only series I've come across that doesn't suck too bad is Gemini Division, which stars Rosario Dawson as a cop whose gay boyfriend's pacemaker programs him to kill. At least that's what I gathered from the first installment, which was released today. I could be proven wrong in subsequent episodes. It also may or may not be set in the future -- everyone in it wears current clothing (translation: no pointy shoulders or floor length robes, which defies Hollywood's strict vision of future fashion), but Dawson's character uses this webcam technology with all kinds of coding and activity on the sides like in The Matrix, so yeah, most likely the future. And to my knowledge, pacemakers do not currently program people to kill... yet, so there's another argument for the future setting.

The first episode (which they don't call episodes, by the way. They call them "Files" because this show is totally down with the technology, man), started out ordinary enough. A girl (Dawson) is seen talking into a webcam or camera phone to an unidentified person, describing the surprise trip to Paris her (totally gay, I'm sorry) boyfriend surprised her with, some vacation slides are seen, she gets a proposal at the Eiffel Tower, which was totally romantic but she hasn't said yes yet because her boyfriend has a pacemaker and that freaks her out, and it's all lovely and mundane, but she keeps saying "Blown away" over and over again, which made me expect a surprise explosion that I never got.

Anyway, that conversation ends with her saying she's going to go to bed to dream of an "off-white wedding" (whore!), and there is a fast cut to a new file, which is not so nice. Dawson's panicking because her gay boyfriend is lying seemingly paralyzed in bed, with his eyes darting back and forth like a crazy speed addict, and she's asking the person on the other end of the phone for advice on what to do about the crazy speed addict gay boyfriend while leaning over him to I guess slap him out of it, to which he responds by snapping out of his "episode," focusing on her with Satan eyes from murder alley and choking the crap of her, which I find quite rude. The end! "File 02" has also been posted, but I haven't watched it yet, I'm sorry. Go there now and learn how pacemakers can control your every thought! Oh, and to see what happens next, but seriously, we gotta get control of these pacemakers.

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