I learned how each and every one of the players met her husband, where they got engaged, what their wedding rings looked like. I was even subjected to wedding pictures. Because clearly, the only interesting thing about a female athlete of Olympic caliber is the fact that she tapes her wedding ring to her finger when she plays and that she met her husband on a blind date. Really, people? Really? Not to be militant, but I find the whole thing hugely offensive and sexist. Can you imagine announcers commentating on Michael Phelps' dating habits? Or showing Kobe Bryant's honeymoon pictures? No, you can't. Because not only does no one give a hell, it's insulting. Heaven forbid that a female athlete be judged solely on the merits of her abilities, because certainly that's not interesting enough. People need to know what conditioner she uses and her recipe for pot roast, because let's face it, she might be an award-winning Olympian but she's really just a sweet little house frau underneath that sinewy exterior.

Screw you, commentators. Don't make me sic Serena Williams on your ass.