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Denise Richards Complicates My Life For Another Season

Not to be crass or anything but I think I speak for legions when I ask: just whose you-know-what is Denise Richards you-know-whating these days? That's got to be the only logical explanation for how in the name of all that's slutty her poo-smelling reality show It's Complicated got renewed for another mind-numbing season. Let's review the highlights of the first scintillating season, shall we? In one episode, Denise decides to breed her potbellied pig. In another, she calls a reporter the c-word in the course of addressing tabloid rumors from about a year ago that people have since stopped caring about (and ceased to care about before they even knew about them). And let's not forget the heartwarming episode where she gets her poor sap of a dad a spray tan and man-scape and drags him to some red carpet affair. And the one where she tries to stop swearing! I mean the action is just non-stop here, folks!

Since the Richie Sambora bidness seems to have run its course, one can only assume that Denise will be milking the recent happening betwixt she and her ex, Charles "Douchebag" Sheen, including the various slanderous things they've said to each other and Sheen's recent impregnation of new wife Brooke Mueller, as fodder for her fascinating drama. All I know is if I have to see one more potbellied pig getting humped, I'm shooting my TV.

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