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The Telefile
Like any good liberal arts college graduate, I've long been privy to the many advantages of having a gay boyfriend. I don't mean a guy that you're actually dating who turns out to prefer the pole to the hole. I'm talking about a partner in crime, that rare breed of man who's much happier to peruse the galleries of an exhibit featuring the work of the Wiener Werkestatte and then grab a leisurely brunch than to down a case of Natty Ice and spend the day watching football. A man who will answer you honestly when you ask if your ass looks fat in these jeans, who knows the difference between Marc Jacobs and Zac Posen, who always smells good, has eyebrows that are better manicured than yours and will eagerly share and listen to details of various romantic escapades with nary an eye roll or judgment as to your promiscuity. The gay boyfriend is a necessary part of any sophisticated woman's entourage, an accessory less expensive than a child or a toy poodle and infinitely more stylish, though possibly more high maintenance. A best gay is a status symbol for a certain caliber of upwardly mobile female, and as such, it would make sense that this storied relationship between a woman and her gay is the topic of an upcoming Bravo reality show, tentatively titled Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys.

Though few details about the show have yet been revealed, my best guess is that it will be structured rather like the Real Housewives franchise, in that it will focus on a rotating cast of "couples" and their exploits. Though if god really loved me, the Bravo honchos would model it more after Top Chef and Project Runway, pitting teams against each other in topical challenges ranging from Broadway karaoke singing contests to marathon shopping sprees to cruising sessions to catty cut-down face-offs, sloshing martini glasses included. Whatever the case, you can bet this fag hag will be along for the ride.

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