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The Telefile
I've asked Greg Berlanti. I've even asked Mario Lopez. And now, with the announcement that he's got a possible 16 shows coming to a TV near you, the time has come to channel In Living Color's immortal "Hey Mon!" to ask Mark Burnett: "How many jobs you got?!" The brain behind Survivor, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader and The Apprentice recently told TV Week he has "10 series in various stages of posting and prepping, as well as five or six pilots," on his work schedule at the moment. I'm going to be conservative and assume that his returning and current shows are included in the above numbers, so the official tally is a mind-boggling 15 or 16 jobs! Wow! I never thought I'd say this, Greg Berlanti and Mario Lopez, but next to Mark Burnett, you two are lazy bums.

Incidentally, he managed to squeeze in some time to dish on three of his new jobs, which sound unbelievably sucky, but I don't know, I thought you might want to know about them anyway. One is called Starmaker, and it's basically American Idol for MTV, with the grand prize of landing a contract with Diddy's record label. Because being on Bad Boy has worked out so well for Gorilla Zoe. And Cheri Dennis. And Yung Joc. Anyway.

The next one is called Bully Breakdown, where the victims of schoolyard bullies are interviewed to get us all riled up to see said bullies get the crap beaten out of them in the ring by professional MMA fighters. It will also be on MTV, of course, along with some other show based on Rock Band where people who aren't musicians will pretend they are musicians in competition form. Mark Burnett, maybe you should have just taken a long nap after Pirate Master failed and spared us all the agony.

And to cleanse the palette, a little "Hey Mon!"

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