Says the study's author, "Consumers, especially those with a lower self-esteem, may be more susceptible to overconsumption when confronted with images of death during the news or their favorite crime scene investigation shows." First of all, my self-esteem is fine, thank you very much. And secondly, are you calling me fat?

On the real, though, it'd be so nice if getting rid of my muffin-top was as easy as curbing my Jerry Orbach (in reruns, obvs) addiction. If we're gonna start making pronouncements about TV's ability to affect our behavior, it's not that big of a stretch to start justifying school shootings as the product of heavy metal and video games. ...Oh, wait.

So following the same rationale, if I wanted to lose weight, perhaps I should start watching shows that either deal with mortality not at all or deal with it in a way that's the opposite of its usual characterization. This leaves me with cartoons and shows about vampires, both of which I already watch. Then again, I've never attempted to cease all L&O viewing while simultaneously relegating my TV viewing to exclusively Spongebob and True Blood. This should make for an interesting "diet!" Hell, I'll give it a whirl! What do I have to lose, after all? Except a jean size or two. I'll report back on my findings! Toodeloo!