Ring ring!

Brenda: Hello? Oh, hi Dylan! What's that? Oh really? Hahaha! You're so funny! Me too! I was just thinking about that! Yeah, I'm actually here with Kelly so I can't really talk.

Kelly: Oh! Is that Dylan?

Brenda: [covering mouthpiece] Yeah, we talk all the time!

Kelly: You conniving bitch!

Brenda: Jealous much? Oh, no Dylan don't worry. That was nothing! Huh? Really? You think about me all the time? That's so sweet!

Kelly: [stabs Brenda to death with a kitchen knife]

Basically, the CW is grasping at straws to inject some much-needed drama into their flailing, boring-ass show, but because the two key characters they'd need to make that happen are all "screw you guys," they're pulling the sort of middle school prank I used to do when I tried to convince my friends that I was dating Ethan Hawke ("Oh, hey Ethan! Yeah, I can't talk now, I'm doing a face mask with my girlfriends! Love you too!"). On the one hand, I can totally understand how misguided desire drives desperate people to do desperate things, but I don't really feel that that understanding needs to extend to a television network. So to the CW I say, grow up! Put up or shut up! And for god's sake, give Brenda a spin-off show already! Gah!