OK, first of all, I can't even deal with the first show. Let's just leave it at this: it's called Georgia and the Seven Associates, it's going to be on Fox, and it's about a girl with an evil stepmother and a job at a law office with seven lawyers whose characters are based on the seven dwarves from Snow White. For some reason. I think we can agree that every joke imaginable for the above synopsis writes itself, so let's just move on to something less awful.

This next one is called Warehouse 13 and it just makes me want to throw my jaded blogger baggage right out the airlock, because when I was eight this synopsis would have seriously knocked me on my ass (and for the record, still does!). "It revolves around two FBI agents -- rule-bender Peter (Eddie McClintock) and by-the-book Myka (Joanne Kelly) -- who, after saving the life of the U.S. president, are relocated to Warehouse 13, a location that houses supernatural objects the government has collected over the centuries." So basically, it's based on my tree house productions of Archeology Show (my first original series), but with a bigger budget and scripts not written in crayon. And better actors than that hack Phil Monez, who my mom made me hire because he was "my cousin," which was so unfair [slam!]. Back to business though, isn't there something just gleefully ridiculous about that premise? Why do they have to save the president first? Can't they just start off working at this Warehouse 13? Maybe 8 year olds did secretly create this show! Either way, when it premieres on Sci Fi with a two-hour pilot someday, I will be there with bells on.