I like Heroes. Or at least in theory I do. But there's a point where even I have to draw the line. Last week was kind of that line. And while I really don't want to stop watching this show, I'd hate for it to devolve into Prison Break territory, where I'm only watching it to see what ludicrous and preposterous new things they've come up with. It would be easier for me to make a clean break. But I'm willing to give it a little more time. Especially if they make any of the following changes. Stat. Because I'm not falling for that "we made it better, we swear" thing again. Adding in a few cool twists in a mess of a show does not make things all better.
1. Stop Going to the Future!
At first it was cute. Have Hiro hop ahead, see the world in crisis, come back to figure out what to do about it. ("Save the cheerleader, Save the world!") But now, when there are full episodes devoted to future events that are never going to happen it is annoying, and a waste of time. With all of the characters zinging around and messing with the space-time continuum, it is hard to know, or care, what is going to happen, or if the heroes/villains are able to stop it bad things from happening, because it is a constant state of flux. Will Sylar have a kid named Noah? Possibly, but not if Peter travels back to the past and messes things up. Will Ando kill Hiro? Also possible, and with Hiro becoming stupider by the minute, it might be a welcome change of pace. And while Parkman really has nothing to do on this show, having him spirit walk (with the help of headphones) to envision himself with a kid and living with Daphne is just plain annoying and unnecessary. Just having him see the paintings would have been enough to give him a clue about his mission, or whatever. Instead, we get a wasted and pointless hour.
2. Stop Adding New Characters!
If the Maya debacle last year wasn't enough to annoy fans, now we've got more good and bad guys, despite the fact that some of the best people barely get their storylines dealt with in any kind of significant way. You could always spend more time with HRG in my book, and he's been just a shadow, and while I'm loving Mama Petrelli as the bad ass leader of the Company, there could always be more of her yelling at Hiro. And why do we need the speedy Daphne or Knox (who serves what purpose exactly?) Where are Micah or Monica? Haven't seen much of them around. Deal with the characters that we already know. Resolve their storylines and then and ONLY then, start adding new regular characters. Otherwise it is too much. Oh, and if you insist on bringing on new people, and you get someone awesome like Veronica Mars alum Francis Capra and give him a potentially interesting story where Peter is trapped in his body... let it play out for a little while instead of killing him off the first time you have a chance.
3. When Characters Die, Keep them Dead!
So they've brought back Linderman, though he's not alive, but he's a ghost or apparition or hallucination of some sort who is haunting Nathan's mind. They've brought back Niki/Jessica (as if we hadn't had enough of her) as yet a third needlessly annoying character who is involved with Nathan. And then there's Adam, who wasn't exactly dead since he can't die, but was good and buried and out of the way for a while, and then they had to go dig him up again. And Maya, who should have been dead, was revived. It's fine to bring people back for flashbacks, but if there are no consequences to having someone offed, as they'll just turn up again in some format or another, having them die really loses any impact.
4. Past and Future Versions Shouldn't Meet!
This is just science. Or typical science fiction. Future and Past versions of each other can't occupy the same space and time, or else like the universe or something explodes, or they just cease to exist. But not in the unbelievably insanity of Heroes. Future Peter and Past Peter can not only be in the same time, but they can also hang out and be friends. This is not cool. These paths shouldn't cross, most especially because the last thing we need is two Peter's running around.
5. Make Some Rules and Stick to Them!
I think the thing that gets me the most and makes me the most likely to throw solid objects at my television set, is that the rules are always changing on this show. Whenever something serves a storyline they go with it, even if later down the road it really makes no sense at all. It has been established that Peter's power is absorbing other people's powers just by proximity. So why send him to the future to track down Sylar and make him all pissed off to get back in the business, just so that he could learn his power... which is absorbing other people's abilities. Am I missing something? Probably. And if Hiro and Peter can time travel all over the place, why not just go back in time to fix things. I know, Hiro doesn't believe in going back in time because he seriously screwed up with the whole Kensei thing, but Peter had to shoot Nathan, instead of going back like 30 minutes earlier and having a nice rational conversation with him about why he shouldn't tell the world about their gifts?
6. If You Make a Theme, Have It Make Sense!
Villains! Sounds great on paper. More about the on-going battle of good and evil that has ruled the comic book industry for ages. And while I appreciate that they are exploring the gray area among people, are they good, are they evil, just a little more clarity would be great. If a leather clad Claire is suddenly all gung ho about killing Peter, it would be great to spend some time figuring that out. It's probably my fault for wrongly thinking there'd be more of a Legion of Doom or Brotherhood of Evil Mutants kind of thing. Instead there's lots of ambiguous stuff about good and evil and now and then and who's right and who's wrong, it's just too much.
7. When In Doubt, Add More Sylar!
The only worthwhile thing about the most recent trip to the faux future, was getting to see Sylar in a different light. Zachary Quinto is a fantastic actor. He's delicious when he's evil. He's even better when he's making waffles. And he's got pretty much every ability, so just having him doing random things every week couldn't hurt. And him and HRG together is a great development. Maybe make the entire show a buddy series with the two of them. That'd be kind of awesome.
That's my plan for the show to return to the awesomeness that I glimpsed in Season 1. Doubtful that they'll listen, but here's hoping. If they could have at least eliminated the scenes with Tracy/Nathan and their odd relationship, that'd be something. I'd take that. Thought that's not gonna happen either.
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