Now that Sad Grampa and his sidekick ol' HMILF (that's Hockey Mom I'd Like To .... oh you know) are safely out of the picture and Obama's beginning his quest to right the wrongs of the past administration, I feel it's appropriate to train our focus on an insidious enemy that's set down deep roots in this fair nation of ours. You all know what I'm talking about right?

Like any good American and New Yorker, I watched last night's election coverage in a bar. The particular bar I was in had about 12 giant TV screens tuned to Fox, CNN and MSNBC, so I got a pretty well-rounded exposure to the coverage, and to several glasses of something called a "Blue State Shooter," which was in a pilsner glass, so it technically was not a shooter, but that's not the point of this post. My point is that CNN had the most entertaining coverage, for the following three reasons: 1) They had Anderson Cooper, who is America's sweetheart (also, it may have been the Blue State Shooters playing tricks on my eyes, but I swore I noticed for the first time that Andy is shorter than Wolf Blitzer, which just blew my mind all apart), 2) Paul Begala is the funniest man on television and I'm not exaggerating, and 3) THEY HAD HOLOGRAMS LIKE IN STAR WARS! I'm serious! It was like a less sad version of when Superman would get messages from his dead parents in the Fortress of Solitude! It was like if Kirk and Bones spontaneously started talking about the 2008 election when they came back from a mission!

Like you probably are, I'm still reeling from last night's election results, not to mention CNN's amazing election coverage (more on that later, but seriously -- holograms?! Yes!), but being the dumb TV addict that I am, my thoughts after last night's early results call immediately went from, "Whoa! Everything's going to change! No pun intended!" to "Ahh, crap. I hate Fred Armisen's Barack Obama impression. Oh well, at least Jason Sudeikis' Joe Biden rules." Seriously. That's pretty much a verbatim transcript. My brain? After witnessing a milestone historic event? Immediately went there. Yes, I know. I am why the terrorists hate us. Watch some awesome Sudeikis Biden and some less awesome Armisen Obama, in case you don't know what I mean, and tell me what a disgrace I am below.

Oh South Park! You and your searing political insights! As I've been informed they do every election year, those jokers Trey Parker and Matt Stone will be airing a brand new episode of their raunchy toon tomorrow featuring whoever ends up being the winner of this here election. Guess that means the animators have been busy drawing up two possible scenarios for two different President Elects. Or they're just relying on the popularity polls, which've been telling us for a while now that Obama's a shoo-in. What? Don't shoot the messenger, dudes! I'm just reporting what the news reporters are saying.

Go vote (please?) and then tune in to Comedy Central tomorrow night at 10 PM EST to watch South Park's super dooper presidential episode, "About Last Night ..." featuring Obama somebody and gloat or cry, whichevs.

You know when you are watching a show and a song that you adore comes on and you get all excited? Or when a song is just so perfectly suited to a scene that you can't help but cheer giddily to yourself? Both those things happened to me last night while watching The Big Bang Theory. The show (which has a theme song penned by the Barenaked Ladies) had Sheldon (a brilliant nerd) being stalked/fawned over by an eager grad student who wanted nothing more than to see him achieve greatness (and hopefully take her along for the ride). During a montage of her putting the kibosh on him having any kind of fun with her maniacal monitoring of all his daily habits, they started playing the Barenaked Ladies "Be My Yoko Ono." It was a perfect fit for this scene (and for this show) and made me laugh out loud. Plus, I just love that song, so to hear it on a primetime show was kind of a treat. (Watch it over at CBS.)

In the infamous words of Law & Order's Serena Southerlyn, "Is this because I'm a lesbian?" Dr. Erica Hahn is getting summarily discharged from Seattle Grace only a week after she came out of the closet and saw the leaves through the trees or whatever. Rumors are that ABC didn't like her racy "south of the border" storyline with Callie. (Though Shonda Rimes insists in a statement that Smith wasn't fired because her character was a lesbian, and that they still have Callie, a lesbian, on the show). In her interview with EW's Ausiello, Brooke Smith says she was told they couldn't write for her character any more.

People just loooooove making connections between TV and human behavior, don't they? (Full disclosure, I eat this shiz up.) Between the political preferences that your TiVo allegedly reveal and the fact that Law & Order makes you fat, it seems turning on your tube is a fraught endeavor these days. 'Course this is nothing new, but it sure seems like the conspiracy theorists that propagate these myths are coming out of the woodwork of late to make us afraid to tune in to our favorite shows. Maybe they're just feeling left out cuz they can't afford to upgrade to digital in February? Who the hell knows.

I've been pretty vocal about how bad Heroes has been lately (in fact, I recently offered up a list of seven things they could do to make it stop sucking) and I'm not alone. But I am somewhat surprised that the powers that be actually seem to be listening. Or at least Tim Kring is making a move to stop the madness.

I don't know if you've heard, but apparently today is Election Day! Yay, democracy! The bad news, however, is that since Tina Fey has pretty much decided she's going to retire her Sarah Palin impression even if the McCain ticket takes the White House, last weekend's QVC sketch is probably the last we'll ever see of it. Very sad news indeed, but luckily we'll always have Hulu. In memoriam, I've posted each and every pageant walking, winking, maverick drinking game shouting out, Katie Couric question dodging and gam-flashing Tina-as-Sarah instance below. Laugh through the tears, kids. Patch Adams taught us that.

Ruh roh! The bell is about to toll for Lipstick Jungle. Or so says an anonymous NBC exec, who intimates that the CBS show Numb3rs, which shares the same Friday night time slot, is murdering LJ ratings-wise. Is it because the target demo (upwardly mobile gays and ladies in their mid-thirties to fifties) are out getting their Cosmos on during LP's 10 PM Friday slot while all the Mathletes sit at home watching Numb3rs and playing WoW?