OK! Magazine is boldly proclaiming that "a source close to" Paula Abdul told them she's looking to leave American Idol in order to pursue other projects. Yes, because the woman who was fired from the Bratz dolls movie and who couldn't even carry a Bravo reality show better than a bunch of Orange Country trophy twits can really only go up from the biggest show on television, can't she? Especially when she's not even expected to show up to work remotely sober, or to speak coherent English when on camera.

The truth: the only way Paula Abdul is ever leaving American Idol is if she's dragged out, kicking and screaming. Too harsh? Don't worry, she's way too high to read this.