1) Chuck Eye for the Fug Guy
Chuckles and his one and only Queen B are the best part of this show, hands down. But it's not just the sexual tension and coquetry that has us GG suckers tuning in week after week -- it's Chuck's fanciful nouveau dandy get-ups. His moral fiber might be lacking, but his sartorial know-how is bar none. A Chuck-helmed makeover show for guys who pair black socks with Mandals is soooo in order. Plus, his biting sarcasm and witty burns would make him a compelling host for sure.

2) Bo Ho
Vanessa is arguably the most annoying character on GG, but her kind (i.e. self-righteous, overly educated Bohemian) is just as ubiquitous and conspicuously obnoxious as those uppity Upper East Siders. Plus, if I have to hear her talk at length about her quirky family members (that lesbian sister of hers haunts my dreams) once more I will lose my effing mind. Why not give them their own damned show so they'll stop mucking up the original?

3) World Tour
Rufus keeps on talking about his days on the road, but he should really quit clogging up the weekly storylines and put his money where his mouth is. TV audiences love watching a washed-up rocker bumble his way back toward the spotlight (see: Rock of Love), so why not give 'em what they want? Each week, Rufus will hit a different tour stop, wrestle with his ethics when confronted with drugs and aging groupies, and try unsuccessfully to call and check in with his exasperated progeny. It'll be a raging success amongst Baby Boomers!

4) Bad Girl Blair
I was always sad that show Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty wasn't a smash hit, but I'd submit it was just a little too under-the-radar to stand the test of time. I propose a variation on this show's initial idea (having Shannen strategize with unsatisfied dudes or chicks about how to break up with their respective partners), with Blair advising wronged parties on how to avenge all manner of slights. You've been warned, douchebags!

5) Barbie Brigade
We all agree Serena's boobs have been a little out of control of late, yes? (It seems like her real-life counterpart Blake Lively is no stranger to going under the knife.) I think it's time we fast-forward five years ahead, Desperate Housewives-style, to Serena's last year of college, in which she decides that pursuing a career in plastic surgery is her calling. Think a hybrid of Nip/Tuck and Felicity. Hot!