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TWoP 10: Resolutions TV Shows Should Make

by Angel Cohn December 31, 2008 9:18 AM
TWoP 10: Resolutions TV Shows Should Make

We've tired of thinking what we'll do to make TV a better experience for us and vowing never to watch a show, only to get suckered back into a hyped storyline (Prison Break), or promising to watch all those shows that have been sitting in our DVR for months that we know we're never, ever, going to really watch. Instead, we decided to be more productive and came up with some resolutions for the TV shows themselves (and the people behind them). Here's hoping that at least a few of these actually stick.

1. Heroes -- Make the Show Fun Again
We hate to sound like an SNL character, but "Fix it. Fix. It!" We used to love this show and while the last two episodes of this arc were not quite as bad as the rest of the fall installments (or that season that shall not be mentioned), we're sort of dreading the whole Nathan president thing already. Please, please, please don't make this as lame as we think it's going to be. We've even got some ideas on how to fix it, and with Bryan Fuller coming back (sniff sniff, Pushing Daisies) there is no reason this show shouldn't be able to return to form.

2. Grey's Anatomy -- Kill Denny Off for Good
We so fondly remember a medical drama that was steamy and good and not horrifyingly painful to watch. We know it is in there somewhere. Stuffed in the back of a janitor's closet at Seattle Grace perhaps. And while there a lot of problems with the show, the most egregious error in judgment was bringing Denny back (nothing against the handsome and talented Jeffrey Dean Morgan) as a ghost that just won't go away. It takes the show into a weird, trippy place, and away from the surgery and sex, which was what we liked in the first place. And no, sex with a ghost doesn't count.

3. The Office -- Make Pam Less Annoying
We used to love Pam back in the day when she was flirting with Jim and wreaking mild mischief around Dunder-Mifflin Scranton, but these days she's an irritating nag who grates on our nerves. Her note in the kitchen about the microwave deserved the ridicule it got. Her inter-office politicking for new chairs? Stupid. And did she really go to art school to sit around as a receptionist? Shouldn't she at least have tried for a different job around Scranton? Where's the girl we knew before she headed off to New York? Bring her back, please, so that we can actually be excited about her and Jim getting married.

4. American Idol -- Less Bad People, More Simon
They say they are going to focus on less of the terrible auditions this year, but we're sure they'll find a way to work this season's answer to William Hung into the show repeatedly. We tune in for the singing and the nasty comments from Simon (and OK, to make fun of Seacrest) but not to suffer through tone deaf fame whores in weird wardrobes.

5. Dancing With the Stars -- Cast Some Actual Stars
The list of new contestants hasn't been revealed yet, but for a change of pace, we'd love to see some actual big movie or TV stars instead of has-beens grasping for another few minutes of fame or retired athletes. The third guy from the left on Hannah Montana isn't exactly a huge 'get.' Let's aim higher for the new year.

6. Smallville -- Find a Way to Get Rid of Lois
Lois Lane is very important in the superman mythology, but this girl? Not so much. It's not that we hate her (though we kind of do) but she's just too busy making googly eyes to actually be a credible reporter. Maybe they can find a way to send her on assignment... for a good long time... like until the series finale.

7. Bones -- Hire a Replacement for Zack
Come on already. It's been too long. The revolving door of annoying or pretentious or unqualified wannabes is getting way old and really bringing us down. Put some new geek in that spot, so we can stop being reminded of the ludicrousness of Zack being Gormogon's apprentice story on a regular basis, and give us a permanent person to get used to. We hated Cam when she got there and now we almost kind of, sort of, don't mind her so much.

8. True Blood -- Don't Kill Lafayette
It's not looking good for TV's favorite fry-cook/drug dealer. Those pretty toenails in the car on the season finale seemed to belong to him, but he's hands down our favorite character. Perhaps the wicked mind of Alan Ball can find a way out of this one if it is really him (it's OK to deviate wildly from the books on this one. I promise I won't gripe about it.) Ned from Pushing Daisies isn't busy, maybe he can come in to make this resolution a reality.

9. Fringe -- Give Olivia a Personality
We want Fringe to be a better show, and the main problem is the dull Olivia, played by the equally dull Anna Torv. We know her job is serious and all that messing around in her brain can't exactly be fun, but a little more humor or life would be appreciated. Just look at Brennan on Bones, she's smart, sexy, damned good at her job, and can crack a joke.

10. Supernatural -- More Jensen Ackles Singing
I know that our resident Supernatural dragon Raoul would probably want more GORE! (which he always wishes for), and that the fans are clamoring for less of Ruby (which we'd be fine with too), but this year we'd like to see more Jensen Ackles doing "Eye of the Tiger" or other tunes to give us a little taste of the behind the scenes goofiness. It can make even a bad episode so much better.

Your thoughts? Resolutions you'd like to see your favorite shows make? List 'em below.

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