6) Portia died. I knew they had to get rid of her somehow, but for some reason I really expected her to survive the rest of the season. Clearly, I was wrong. And despite the fact that Julia's moving to New York, and the fact that Sean and Julia are terrible for each other, I'm sure you can expect these two to be remarried again by next week's episode, at the rate this season is going.
5) Eden came back, framed her dead mother for attempted murder and then threw Portia's ashes directly in Sean and Julia's faces before stomping out to go make "more of those movies" in Europe. And by "those movies" I mean "crappy 90210 episodes under a purely contractual obligation," and by Europe, I mean, well, wherever the 90210 set is. I'm guessing it's not in Europe.
4) Jennifer Coolidge returned, this time as Coco, a character based loosely on Ice T's elegant wife of the same name. It was the kind of thing that was really over-the-top, awkward, and a little bit racist, but I still laughed in spite of myself because it's Jennifer Coolidge, and who can stay mad at Jennifer Coolidge? Either way, it was quite a spectacle.
3) We've seen a lot of gruesome gore on this show, but there isn't much that tops watching a woman hack off one of her breasts with a motorized meat saw in the middle of a populated waiting room. The fact that this show still knows how to top itself in terms of shock value never ceases to amaze me.
2) "Yo Stink Bitch." Yo. Stink. Bitch. First of all, I'm pretty sure that was the first fake rap video that's ever been on the show, so, that's an insane first right there. And I mean, even if only the song had played during Coco's butt enlargement surgery, that would have been an outrageously hilarious thing, but the video -- the video! Guys in gas masks dancing around various lady crotches while Jennifer Coolidge vide-ho's it up like Ireenie in Pootie Tang, rapping about smelly crotches? I'm speechless.
1) The only thing more insane than Christian and Liz having sex last week is Christian and Liz trying to date each other. I know these people making terrible decisions is a really vital part of this show's storytelling, and while one can expect this kind of thing from Christian, what the hell, Liz?! You're smarter than this! Is anyone OK with this development? Does it make any sense to anyone? Sound off below.
So yeah, this season is really not messing around. With only 24 episodes left in the series' run, you kind of have to wonder what else they'll throw at us in rapid fire succession. I wouldn't be surprised if Christian died in February or something.
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