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The Telefile
About Last Night’s <I>Nip/Tuck</I>: That Sure Was Unexpected. And Enraging. I made a big deal last week about how I prefer to enjoy Nip/Tuck without thinking too much about it, but the problem is last night's episode made me think several distressing thoughts that I need to get out. Which I guess is a good thing, albeit uncharacteristic of the show and contrary to everything I like about it. It's really hard to be me. Here goes, hopefully some of you have answers:

1) Where the hell is Eden? When Kimber stopped by Christian's apartment he made a mention of how Eden is living with her, but Eden tried to kill Julia, and what? She's just out and about, walking around a free skank? Or is Kimber just hanging onto her stuff for her while she is in prison awaiting/without a trial? Or has she fled the country? Or something? It's really bothering me that I don't know, and though dropping storylines unexpectedly isn't like, a brand new thing to see on this show, you can't just pretend a character's very recent felony didn't happen because the actress who plays her got a job at the CW.

2) So Sean's fake paralysis jig is up already. That was... unexpected. I thought that would go on for the rest of the season. What are they going to do now? Sean's not just going to go through life not getting massive amounts of extra attention for something elaborate and self-destructive. He just won't have that. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to put together a live plastic surgery show in Vegas or something.

3) LIZ and CHRISTIAN had INTERCOURSE. And she's kind of thinking she's into dudes now because of it? WHAT?! There are no words. Even for this show, that was random and unnecessary. Sidenote, though: how fabulous was that gross Craigslist hooker who stole Christian's pills? I hope she comes back forever.

4) The flirty blonde student who turned out to have weird role playing issues (cringe-worthy, yes, but I loved it. Classic Nip/Tuck) has already been rode hard and put away. In just two episodes! That was fast. It's like these two episodes just never happened and we're going to move on, with the exception of Raj, who is annoying and needs to stop. Though the tranny BJ was pretty funny, I have to admit.

5) Since when is Christian this manipulative mastermind? Tricking Sean into thinking it was his idea to get out of the chair and run to his aid? Christian's a head case and all, but that is some seriously advanced manipulative game theory, and jugs here is traditionally pretty dense.

6) Julia came back. And did nothing of interest. Where's Portia?

OK, rant over. Just had to get that off my chest. Anybody have any answers or ideas or anything?

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