Greetings faithful TV lovers, and welcome to your daily dose of entertainment news, brought to you by the Glad family of products er, your host, moi. For some unknown reason, today's roundup is heavy on ABC items, but them's are the breaks. Study up on these nuggets and impress your fancy friends at the opera tonight.

The Top Chef finale, or as I like to call it, "The Anybody But Hosea Finale," is next week, and the top four is a lot less horrifying than it was last year. Because last year's top four had Lisa in it, and while Leah is not as terrible as Lisa, putting her in the final four would have been this season's equivalent of that. So yay, no more Leah. Anyway, Stefan's pretty much got this year's win in the bag, and with good reason -- besides being great television, the man can cook -- but even so, I'm still futilely holding out for a Carla upset. Here's why.

If you're like me, you've been marking the days 'til Amy Sedaris's return to the small screen. Sure, she's kept busy since the heyday of Strangers With Candy (a silver-screen adaptation of the show, a dramatic turn in the mawkishly indie flick Snow Angels, a wonderfully goofy role in the Nickelodeon made-for-TV movie The Gym Teacher and a hosting gig on PBS's multi-part comedy documentary Make 'Em Laugh), but on Monday, February 16, at 9 PM we'll get a little something more when she shows up on TNT's The Closer for the first of two episodes playing Brenda's soon-to-be-sister-in-law. We've seen clips of Sedaris playing Claire, a typically off-kilter vegan psychic (or as she prefers to call it, "intuitionist") and it's pretty sweet. She answered my (and a few other journos') prying questions from her apartment in New York, where her pet rabbit was sacked out on her bed. It was sort of a tight-lipped interview since the jerks at TNT only allowed for one question apiece with no follow-ups, but I managed to get her to open up about where Jerri Blank's been hiding all these years, among other things.

Good evening, and welcome to TWOP News. Unfortunately, our TWOPcopter has crashed out by the interstate, so we won't be able to bring you a traffic report, but please do your best to content yourselves with the following bits of television news. Today's top stories: Snoop Dogg takes the stage, Mark Valley takes center stage and Jack Harkness sings showtunes onstage. Score!

I admit that part of me wanted to hate United States of Tara. And after watching the first episode, I was pretty much ready to write it off as another twee, precocious Diablo Cody affair, all over-wrought pop culture references and schticky, trend-conscious plots. Sure, there was some of that. But the first episode of any series is a crapshoot, and there was a lot of ground to cover in establishing the universe of Tara Gregson and her "alters," Alice, T and Buck.

Dollhouse finally premieres this Friday, and can you tell we're excited? Of course you can. We're bouncing off the walls. We've gone off our Ritalin. We are losing it. It's mass hysteria in the TWoP offices! And in order to quell the storm, I hopped on a conference call yesterday with the show's lovely leading lady, Eliza Dushku herself, to get the scoop on all things Joss, Echo and everything else Dollhouse.

Before Chuck creators Josh Schwartz, Chris Fedak and the sublimely stunning Yvonne Strahovski headed down to the Comic Con floor to do their panel in front of a room teeming with fans, they spent a few minutes in a much smaller room with a handful of reporters hyping the show and the upcoming episodes. With good reason, based on the flashy trailer for the rest of the season that they presented. It looks pretty much awesome. Even Capt. Awesome will be duly impressed. Lots of guns, girls, spy games and a really awkward situation between Big Mike and Morgan. I'm pretty psyched. While we only had a few minutes with the trio before they were whisked away, here's the intel we were able to ascertain.

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and since we're primarily a dating site, our own resident Cupid Angel (it's not just a clever name) played matchmaker with our favorite TV characters looking for love in all the wrong places. It's like fan fiction, but shorter and with more candy hearts! Take a gander at the love fest here and comment below on all things fake love. Also, if anyone knows where I can get Jack Bauer Valentine's Day cards ("I swear to god, I will romance you! And this time, you will stay romanced!!!" -- things of that nature) for a reasonable price (yes, I have tried Target, but to no avail), I'd welcome a comment on that as well. Viva l'amour!

We all knew it was coming, but now good sources are saying it might really be true: Izzie and George -- aka Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight are leaving Seattle Grace Grey's Anatomy. After all the smack-talking and gay bashing behind the scenes, and what with the recent "Izzie's seeing dead people" plot line, it was only a matter of time before Heigl got ousted, and it figures that she's taking her BFF with her because, duh, Hollywood is middle school with a slightly better wardrobe and less acne.

So this is a new thing we're trying out in the Telefile -- quick, newsy snippets from the TV world to keep us all informed and on the same page, with some brief commentary. Learning together! It's so great! Tell us if you love it or hate it in the comments, and please feel free to rip on the news itself as well. Lord knows I'm going to, because get a load of this crap...