Just when you were starting to get excited that the departures of Katherine Heigl and T.R. Knight could be the harbinger of a kinder, less brain-dissolvingly-annoying Grey's Anatomy, creator Shonda Rhimes had to go and kill that dream. Which leaves us wondering how cast member James Pickens Jr. could possibly have been "misquoted" earlier this week -- in what universe do the words "yes, she is leaving...he's going, too" mean...well, anything else? Here's hoping the Chief's slip-up turns out to be truer than Shonda would like us to believe...

FX has picked up a sixth season of Rescue Me, ensuring that the sometimes painful but insanely compelling antics of Tommy Gavin and his crew will continue into 2010. Season 5 premieres on April 7, 2009, prompting Denis Leary to launch a Rescue Me Comedy Tour that will also raise funds for his firefighters' charity. Now if only FX could convince all their series stars to go on in-character multi-series promotional comedy tours, we could revel in the certain glory that would be a Nip/Tuck/It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia smackdown. I think we would all pay good money to see Drs. McNamara and Troy get their asses handed to them by the comedic stylings of anybody on Sunny...or anyone, really.

Screw yourselves, Paranormal State and 13: Fear is Real, with your less-than-blatantly-obvious titles! E! has ordered up a backdoor pilot entitled Hot Girls in Scary Places. Dare we presume that its content might involve, oh I don't know, attractive women with a penchant for tight outfits running around drafty locales with an EVP meter? Thanks E!, the scholarly metaphor inherent in Denise Richards: It's Complicated really was too complicated for us to figure out.

USA has opted not to renew their mini-series-turned-primetime-series The Starter Wife, citing the fact that the ratings bar for the network has been raised too high. We like Debra Messing, we really do. But girlfriend needs to stop picking roles that are basically future versions of Grace Adler -- am I right when I say that we're all getting a little tired of her endlessly similar quirkily neurotic leading ladies? How about a drama or a thriller or something? Stay away from mothmen and the world could be yours, Debra.

It's official: Joaquin Phoenix is a publicity genius. Not only does he have the entire internet watching his insane appearance on David Letterman, he now has Alec Baldwin doing impressions of him on Conan. And you know what they say about Alec Baldwin only being the tip of the impression iceberg... okay, that might not be what they say about Alec Baldwin but you get the picture. Now if only we knew what exactly Joaquin was planning to use all this fake documentary internet publicity for... Note: Baldwin can also now claim the honor (?) of being the only guest ever to be killed off The Late Show with Conan O'Brien.