This is what happens when there are mysterious cookies in the office kitchen and I eat too many of them. I get hyper, and I get ideas that are possibly a waste of everyone's time. You don't have to read this, is what I'm saying, but how cool would it be if some network executive went completely insane and decided to reboot the Golden Girls using pre-existing older lady characters from past and present shows and somehow the legalities worked out and we got to watch the awesomeness every week? The following is my dream cast. Please play along!

In the news today: phone sex apologies, an ailing TV detective, a senseless battered woman exploitation, ridiculous nerd happenings, witchy casting news and a new Joss musical. It's a real roller-coaster of emotions, I tell you.

After spending the hours since last night's 24 mourning the tragic passing of my beloved silver fox Bill Buchanan, I got to thinking about the other 24 deaths that have made my jaw drop over the years. I'm counting Bill as the first one because it's the most recent, plus I had to limit these to major to majorish characters or we'd be here all day. While it was very sad that girlfriend Debbie drank poison tea on Day 4 and that that kid's dad got sent to nuclear bomb junction by Kumar on Day 6, deaths like that aren't on here because of my short attention span. You understand. And, one last time before we begin: R.I.P. Bill -- no one could work a mock turtleneck quite like you.

The four wild card singers have been chosen, and I hopped onto a media call to hear Anoop Desai, Jasmine Murray, Megan Corkrey and Matt Giraud do their best to avoid dishing Idol dirt and bashing the other contestants, when you know they're simply dying to do both. I know we've marveled at this here before, but my god, they turn these kids into media-trained monkeys so fast I wonder if there's some mindwipe technology secretly going on here. Thank god for Anoop, or I'd have died of boredom by the end of this weekly exercise in futility. I've done my best to scour the other people's answers for the most interesting quotes, but Anoop is at the end and that's probably the only part worth reading, as the mindwipe technology doesn't seem to be taking in his case for some reason.

What better way to take your mind off of Watchmen and the entirely virtual nerd-fights it has inspired than by reading some excitingly nerdy TV news? There's a lot of exciting casting news today, mostly about aliens, vampires and superheroes, plus some news that might make your head explode, like in that movie Scanners. Basically, this entire news roundup is a sci-fi horror show. And it's all true, or at least rumored to be true. Watchmen, what have ye wrought?!

While the latest three finalists who actually earned their way into the Top 12 (instead of those second-chance Wild Cards) kind of got the short shrift this week, as attention was so quickly shifted to the national nightmare known as Tatiana, we still found time to pay attention to their conference call. We're givers like that. Below are the highlights of what Lil Rounds, Scott MacIntyre and Jorge Nunez had to say.

When we heard the pitch for Nathan Fillion's new TV show Castle -- mystery writer helps police solve crimes -- we immediately thought of the long-running Angela Lansbury series Murder, She Wrote, which had a similar premise. Hell, even Fillion himself makes the comparison, although ABC apparently told him not to, probably because it makes it sound like a show for 80-year-olds. We've seen a couple episodes of the show by now, and while it probably has more in common with current series like Bones and The Mentalist, there are certainly a few similarities between Castle and Murder She Wrote. We decided to look at just the facts, ma'am, on a case-by-case basis and see if the comparison is justified.

Woohoo, it's Friday! And it's finally time to ask the question that's been on everyone's minds (okay, maybe not everyone's, but still!) all month: who watches the Watchmen? The answer: not you, if you're reading this. So kill a couple minutes with these TV newsbites before heading off into the night to check out Billy Crudup's giant, blue naked body, or get drunk, or whatever else you may have planned for the weekend. Here at TWoP, we don't judge.

Oh man, everybody. Tatiana Del Toro is now officially done with Idol, despite the producers' repeated attempts to force her on us. Can you believe it? Everyone can. But now it's time to wonder -- what will become of her now? It's so hard to say. Hard to say in that the possibilities are endless, because she'll clearly do anything you ask her to as long as you promise you'll film it with a camera and then broadcast it somewhere, anywhere, of course. Here are a few predictions I'd bet on in Vegas.

Having really only gotten into Desperate Housewives this season, and not really having any investment in any of the regular characters, the biggest thing that keeps me looking forward to each new episode is Ol' Blue Eyes, Neal McDonough. As "Creepy" Dave Williams, new husband to Edie Britt and widower to the woman (and child) who died in Mike and Susan's car accident, McDonough has been a portrait in deranged malevolence each week, insinuating himself in the lives of his new neighbors and throwing vague suspicion off of himself by driving away Mrs. McCluskey, not to mention framing Porter Scavo. But judging by the way he talks to his dead family with increasing frequency, and the fact that the season has to end sometime, we expect some serious stuff to go down pretty soon. Here's a few ways we think he's gonna get revenge.