March 2009 Archives
It's that time of year again when a new season of wannabes and has-beens put on some uncomfortable shoes and inappropriate flesh-revealing costumes in order to boogie down for the American public. This season is shaping up to be interesting, with Jewel and Nancy O'Dell dropping out because of injuries before the first episode even airs. But while some celebs are working hard, to the point of physically breaking, we imagine there are some who are just not going to get it (Steve-O, we presume). So with that in mind, we looked back at the celebrities (and we use that term loosely) from seasons past who were unable to wow us with their skills on the dance floor, no matter how hard they tried (or didn't try, in some cases). It was really a challenge to narrow this one down to 10.
While I sit trying to figure out who I have to beg around here to get a Top Scallop T-Shirt, or who I have to bribe to make sure that Anoop gets into the Top 12, I've also been scouring the internet for tasty little TV morsels to share with you.
While I'm slightly disappointed that the judges didn't deem Normund worthy of another performance, or didn't go back and pluck Jamar out of obscurity from the Hollywood rounds and give him another shot, I'm mostly happy with the picks for tonight's Wild Card competition. Though I really did think there would be more forgotten Hollywood people who didn't get to the semifinals... which I thought was part of the point, and I am still baffled about this whole process and why the judges didn't just randomly pick people they like and are forcing us to sit through yet another episode this week, but we're going to make the best of it. Here's who I think has the best shot.
So, Nip/Tuck has kind of a terrible reputation in the land of television -- remember all that stuff we said two months ago about this show? Yeah, we were right. And now that the second half of Season 5 is all wrapped up, I think it's safe to say that at this point the producers of the show are literally trying to shame the last remaining diehard fans into letting go. I mean really, did anyone watch the season finale last night besides me? Dear God! But hey, Nip/Tuck's final season is airing some time in 2010 -- maybe they're pulling that old trick of making us hate them so the goodbye will be easier. Guess what, show? It's working! For those of you who bailed on this formerly... let's go with "watchable" show when The Carver showed up back in 2004, here's why you missed the most maddeningly absurd season ever (and trust me, that's saying something!).
What constitutes news, you might ask? An awesome celeb hosting an awards show we've never watched? That's news. Two fallen 1980s movie stars being cast in TV shows? That's news. A TV show set in the 1970s getting dropped like a bad habit? That's news. A 1990s TV star being cast in a remake of a 1980s TV show, due to appear on TV in 2010? That's a math problem, but it's also news. All those decades and more on today's... TwoP News! (Cue American Idol theme music.)
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