Having really only gotten into Desperate Housewives this season, and not really having any investment in any of the regular characters, the biggest thing that keeps me looking forward to each new episode is Ol' Blue Eyes, Neal McDonough. As "Creepy" Dave Williams, new husband to Edie Britt and widower to the woman (and child) who died in Mike and Susan's car accident, McDonough has been a portrait in deranged malevolence each week, insinuating himself in the lives of his new neighbors and throwing vague suspicion off of himself by driving away Mrs. McCluskey, not to mention framing Porter Scavo. But judging by the way he talks to his dead family with increasing frequency, and the fact that the season has to end sometime, we expect some serious stuff to go down pretty soon. Here's a few ways we think he's gonna get revenge.
Homicide: Wife on the Streets
Since Mike killed his wife and child with his car, Creepy Dave wants to return the favor. Sending a fake invitation to a birthday party, scheduled for a time when he knows Mike will be working and Katherine will be watching Mike's son, Maynard, Dave then sabotages Katherine's car. When Katherine goes to bring Maynard to the party, she finds that her car won't start just as Dave conveniently drives by in Tom's midlife crisis-mobile, which he slyly purchased through a proxy. He offers her and Maynard a ride, but she doesn't realize that he has converted the car to be death-proof... for the driver only. He then drives the car straight into Scavo's Pizzeria, killing Katherine, Maynard and Tom, who he still owes for punching him that time. No customers are hurt, because Scavo's never has any customers.
The McCluskey Gambit
Kidnapping Mike, Creepy Dave undergoes an experimental face-transplant surgery, where he takes Mike's face and gives Mike his. An anonymous tip leads to Mike-as-Dave getting arrested for the murder of his psychiatrist, and Dave-as-Mike moves in with Katherine. Inviting Susan and Maynard over for dinner, he poisons everyone's food, then undergoes yet another face-transplant procedure, switching faces with a kidnapped Mrs. McCluskey. When McCluskey awakens, she is now Mike, and she's being arrested for triple homicide. Meanwhile, Dave-as-Mrs-McCluskey retires to Boca Raton.
A Tale of Two Edies
Creepy Dave does more pipe sabotage to his house and calls Mike the Plumber to come fix it, scheduling the repairs for a time he knows Edie will be home. Mike comes over, and while he's in the midst of repairs, Dave triggers all of the automatic deadbolts he's installed on all of the doors and windows to the house. Then, he activates Edie 2.0, a robotic duplicate of Edie that he had constructed over the course of their marriage, and commands it to knock out the real Edie and kill Mike. When witnesses see Edie 2.0 killing Mike, the police quickly arrive and arrest the real Edie, Edie 2.0 having returned to her hidden docking station. Edie goes to jail, and Edie 2.0 goes to Mike's funeral. Before anyone can ask her why she's there, Dave triggers her self-destruct mechanism, killing Mike's son, ex-wife, girlfriend and entire extended family.
The M. Bison Strategy
Creepy Dave slowly takes over all of the organized crime on and around Wisteria Lane, demanding protection money from local businesses like Bree's catering company and Scavo's Pizzeria. Then, he has his army of enforcers seal off the lane and turn it into an arena, challenging Mike to a street fight. When Mike refuses, Dave reveals that he has Maynard suspended over a tank of sharks, and the boy will be devoured if he doesn't fight. Mike assents, and the combat rages for hours before Dave finally rips Mike's still-beating heart from his chest. Then he feeds Maynard to the sharks anyway.
How do you think Creepy Dave is gonna get his revenge? Sound off below.
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