VH1 Presents: Annoying Academy
It's Tool Academy, but specifically for annoying television characters. It's a good idea because it's more inclusive than its predecessor, as it focuses on non-tools, but still contains tools as well. Spencer Pratt, for example, is definitely on this thing. As is Bachelor Jason Mesnick. Other contestants for the premiere season: Heidi Montag, Top Chef 5's Leah, Amazing Race 14's Victor, Mario Lopez, Izzie from Grey's, Kate from Lost, Melissa George (Alias Season 3: Never forget.), and that tube-topped gigglebot Tati. Obviously, Tatiana's going to win it all, because even though there's no way to permanently remove the annoying from her being, she is the actress of our generation (says Paula), and will be able to fake it for the upset. "Khaaaaaaaan" says Mario Lopez, or something.

Give her a telenovela!
This one's not a joke; she'd actually be really good on her own telenovela. Let's call it Toros Escándalos and call it a day.

Karaoke video star.
Because no one stares wistfully at the ocean like this girl. She's like a slutty Hummel.

She could be Meryl Streep's accent coach.
She's been working on her fake accent for three years!

Desperation of Love with Tatiana Del Toro.
I know what you're thinking -- "But who would go on television to compete to date Tatiana?" I thought the same thing when I was putting this post together, and then Angel reminded me that the applicants for these shows do not always know who the fine lady they are competing for is. And then I also remembered that famewhores have no standards, so this show pretty much works out perfectly. Here's what we do: We get a bunch of Jersey Shore types to put on some suits and Bluetooths and have them pretend to be record executives who wanna pull a Tommy Mottola on Tatiana (Tatiana is Mariah here, obviously). And then she picks one and marries him and we never tell her the truth, because like she's ever going to figure it out. Delusion-town: Population Tatiana no matter what.

Companion merch: Desperation: The Tatiana Del Toro fragrance.
It goes with the dating show, and smells like a mix of bacon like in those Taco Bell commercials about how single ladies can ensnare men by smelling of processed pork and whatever the hell Solange's fragrance smells like (does Solange have a frangrance? Solange should really have a fragrance). And that's not even the sad part. The sad part? Tatiana will probably end up working the little mall stand that sells it herself. That's right, a stand. Like when your product isn't even good enough to be in a store, and it's just floating out there in the middle of the mall for people to trip over after they're drunk from all the TGIFriday's Ultimate Hawaiian Volcanoes. So yeah, that's her new life in this scenario. I bet you can't tell which one of these is my favorite. (Hint: Yes you can! It's this one!)

Also, it's not a career, but just by way of PSA -- there's going to be a sex tape. Just prepare yourselves now for the sex tape, because you know there's an inevitable Tatiana Del Toro sex tape that exists in the world and it's always best to be prepared for these things. Transmission completed.

Any other ideas? Spill in the comments.