Last night's debut was so tediously boring and bizarre. I was really hoping for a new Hell's Kitchen, since Marco Pierre White is the host of the UK version. Instead, I'm not even sure what I watched for an hour. It was a bizarre blend of that BBC show Last Restaurant Standing and The Biggest Loser: Couples. Basically pairs (one who is a chef and one who has no apparent skills whatsoever) compete for the opportunity to run a restaurant. However, instead of having their own place to run like on LRS, they are put into teams of two. Arbitrarily. They couples present their best dishes to Marco to see who gets to be head chef of each restaurant. And while he's slightly snarky about their meals, he's not exactly throwing it across the room and calling anyone donkeys.

When the restaurants actually open, Marco seems to disappear from the show. He's around somewhere... but the actually critiquing of their cuisine goes to an anonymous judge. Who isn't really anonymous since he's actually a food critic for a fairly well known publication, so like, if these people are in the restaurant industry, they might have had a clue. But they clearly don't. And then the food critic of the week gives his slightly nasty reviews of their offerings. After he leaves, Marco has to decide who from the losing team goes home. But he barely says anything, and the couples just start attacking each other while he sits back. Eventually he makes a decision. To make this premiere even more pointless, totally out of the blue, some guy decides that he and his sister are going to bow out of the competition. Apparently he doesn't like all the fighting and backstabbing. He's clearly never watched any other reality show ever.

The only similarity this has to Hell's Kitchen, is that chefs on this show also don't know how to cook risotto. Come on people. It is not that hard. I can do it, and I'm a mediocre cook at best. This should be a mandatory requirement for all contestants before they go on any cooking show. I'm tired of hearing about bad risotto. I'm also tired of watching shows that seem sort of slapped together. The only contestants that are remotely interesting are the woman who had some of the tips of her fingers cut off in a previous food processing accident, and the guy who seems to break everything he touches... like their oven and fridge. And the only reason they are interesting, is because I'm hoping that they'll break something, or set fire to something on accident.

Chef Marco is a massive disappointment. So boring, so not charming. I'm sure his food is amazing, but his television personality is practically non-existent. I understand that not everyone is Anthony Bourdain or Adam Richman, but a little bit more energy or food commentary would be appreciated. Walking in and tasting some stuff and letting another person do the heavy lifting... not cool.

I won't be giving this one another chance. Will you?