Ausiello brought us (us = Angel and me) some devastating news this weekend. Our arch nemesis Melissa George has landed herself a CBS drama pilot called U.S. Attorney, in which she will play the lead role -- a U.S. Attorney. It's just a pilot, so obviously there's no guarantee it will be picked up, but still. Why, god? Why? And specifically, why CBS? They never cancel anything.

As we are all well aware, ER keeps continuing to exist. The good news is they seem to have finally settled on an end date -- April 2 -- and now news has come that Alexis Bledel will be playing a new intern on that night's two-hour finale. Remember when it kind of looked like her career was going places? Yeah I barely do either. I think I heard about it during a Walter Winchell radio broadcast, when I was a sandwich girl at the Automat. That's how long ago it was.

In an attempt to out-famewhore even herself, Lisa Rinna's getting naked for Playboy this May. I would say something bitchy about how gross that is, but the woman's 20 years older than I am and looks a trillion times better than I ever will, and while this is clearly a sad sign of desperation on her part, here I am writing about it, so clearly it's worked, and I'm as much a part of the problem as she is. Long story short: You go, Lisa Rinna! Work that collagen!

Shannen Doherty has this new job where she's the art director of a magazine I've never heard of called Pasadena. Perfect. All of you recently laid off print art directors can just try and be more fired from an Aaron Spelling series next time you're trying to keep a job. That being said, Markie Post applies for a job as a web developer here? Totally firing everyone and hiring her instead.

Lauren brought my attention to yet another bullshit TV study that basically says that if your brilliant scheme to turn your baby into a genius solely involves making it watch TV, then that plan is not necessarily foolproof. How much dumbass money was spent on said study was not included in the findings, however, but if you can get grants for simply stating the obvious, I'd just love to apply.

Taylor Swift: Actress.

This news broke last week, but in case you missed it, Ed McMahon is very sick right now, and that is very, very sad.