It's not hard to be outshone by the sparkly supporting characters on Ugly Betty: Marc, Amanda, Wilhelmina, Claire Meade, Gay Justin -- they're all money. Which is great. Problem is, we used to love Betty's endearing pluck and poncho arsenal, but these days we're never half as excited about watching her anymore because she's too damn annoying. And I know it's been said many, many times before, but who has braces for three years? It's not a dealbreaker or anything, but it seems contradictory that such a smart girl wouldn't have picked up one shred of style influence from the glamorous environment she's been in. Don't change her and have her turn into an Amanda clone or anything, but it's unrealistic that Betty would still be as clueless about her presentation today as she was when she started at Mode.
2. Private Practice's Addison
Here's a sad story. Everybody loved Addison on Grey's, when she was actually a strong and intelligent professional, but, since Private Practice is obsessed with being stupid, the spin-off version of her character has devolved into an indecisive, man-crazy idiot. She's like Carrie Bradshaw without the wardrobe, and we really wouldn't mind if the soap killed her off in some melodramatic accident and shifted focus to Naomi and Violet from now on.
3. Grey's Anatomy's Meredith
She's a whiner and a crashing bore, and we've been over the McDreamy relationship drama for about two seasons now, which was the only interesting thing about her to begin with. Have her take a job at another hospital and make it Yang's Anatomy. At least Cristina makes us laugh.
4. 90210's Annie
She was meant to be the Brenda Walsh of the show, but she's turned out to be a goody two-shoes snoozefest who can't act. We actually don't hate her, per se -- there's nothing to hate! She doesn't do anything! -- but we'd much rather spend more time with knocked-up Adriana and slutty Naomi every week instead.
5. Nip/Tuck's Sean
Seriously, he's insufferable. An immature, self-righteous attention whore without the humor and good side his partner Christian has. If anyone on this show deserved a (now turned-around, but still) cancerous death sentence last season it was Sean, not Christian.
6. Rock of Love's Bret Michaels
While we have an inexplicable affection for Bret's universal love and acceptance of skanks of all kinds, this show is really all about the ladies' antics. If Bret and Taya actually work out (they won't), and he goes through with his promise that he's done with the show (he won't), there are plenty of loveable aging rockers to replace him with, and the show would still be just as awesome. Our bid? Sebastian Bach. We've loved him since Gilmore Girls. (Or my personal bid: Buckethead. I'd say it would never happen, but who is VH1 to turn down a KFC product placement in every episode? You never know...)
7. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles' Sarah Connor
Movie Sarah Connor: Awesome. TV Sarah Connor: Sometimes awesome, but usually pretty boring, annoying and naggy. Showrunner Josh Friedman is so in love with the character, but that passion just didn't translate somehow, and we're left groaning during Sarah-centric episodes. Besides, if the show does come back for another season, the finale left everyone but Sarah in the future where the real action is, so can we maybe just bench her for a year and party with John, Derek, Kyle and human Cameron for a while?
8. Damages' Ellen Parsons
We gave her the benefit of the doubt the first season, but Season 2 made it pretty clear that Rose Byrne is out of her acting league on this show. And even if she weren't, we're sick of the character. The Frobisher case is beyond over, Patty's admitted she tried to have her killed -- every compelling loose end in Ellen's storyline has been tied up. We'd love to see a third season centered solely around Patty and Tom Shayes paying off judges and blackmailing hookers for testimony instead of Ellen's David hallucinations and Patty hatred. But that's just us.
9. How I Met Your Mother's Ted
Sure, you'd have to get rid of the entire premise of the show, but we've given up on Ted ever finding anybody, and Barney has given up on him as a wingman (Marshall seems to fill that role nowadays), which leaves Ted with nothing to do but act snobby. It would be a much better show if it was just about Barney, Marshall, Lily and even Robin. Could How I Stinson'd Your Mother be a thing? I mean, besides in our dreams?
10. Celebrity Apprentice's Donald Trump
After way more enraging firings this season than normal (Khloe? T-Boz? Melissa?! All whore pit viper moves, Donald) the Donald has clearly lost his damn mind. Ivanka could run that show from now on and not only would it be less douchey (I really am trying so hard to retire that phrase, I swear), it would also be more lucid.
Other main characters you'd like to retire? Leave them in the comments.
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