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<I>I’m A Celebrity</I>: Officially Out of Ideas?

I am seriously thankful that there is only one more week of I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here left, because these are the most boring human beings on the face of the planet and I just can't take it anymore. Everything is just so freaking dull that it makes me want to cry. There is nothing more tedious than watching people complain about how there's nothing to do around camp. Watching John Salley wake people up is not compelling television. Seeing endless conversations about how they all like each other and are a family is not good, either. Being forced to believe that Sanjaya and Holly have a budding romance is ridiculous, though that's less ridiculous than everyone speculating on why John and Patti are fast friends. And seeing the celebs find little things to nitpick about is irritating. Even Big Brother usually eliminates a lot of the boring conversations about pet peeves, and the people on that show have the good sense to hate each other, or stir up fights, in order to keep people at home from falling asleep. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that the challenges, which are actually cool, are too few and far-between.

This forces the producers to desperately attempt to fill up their hours and hours of primetime TV per week by giving them increasingly ridiculous things to do, like coloring or making movies. So far, these attempts have done nothing more than fill up airtime. While the bored geniuses living in the jungle might think it is hysterical to watch themselves in a slasher flick, I'm not sold. Lou Diamond Phillips' masterwork looks like a 12-year-old's home video. I'm also not sold on watching them use charcoal to show what they've liked about being in the jungle, since we've already seen them talk about this crap 500 times before. Yes, we get it, Sanjaya and Holly are friends (even if she doesn't understand what a Straight Gay Best Friend is), Patti's had some emotional epiphany by the river and Stephen likes his Bible, but I don't need to see pre-school style drawings to illustrate that fact. If these people are really so bored, let's give them some actual challenges to do, or start rumors about people defecating in camp or some juicy scandal about someone that doesn't involve phony relationships to make things more interesting. I need more backstabbing, stat! Because this Kumbaya, nicey-nicey, "we all love everyone" crap is really driving me crazy. Or at the very least, instead of giving them jacks and marbles to play with, they could kick people out more than once a week, do more actual live content (where Mylene and Damian aren't allowed to talk) or find a villain to just stir things up.

If you've been wisely missing out, here's footage of the totally ridiculous "scandal" about what Patti and John's relationship is really about.

And here's the infamous Slasher "film"

Could Bravo's stars survive in the jungle? It might be more interesting than anything on this show.

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