It's finally over, and Lou won... something. But really, who even cares. Lou dominated the entire game and won because he was nice. There was no strategy, no game play involved. He was just nice, goofed off for a few weeks in the woods, directed a video, let all the youngsters call him 'Papa Lou,' lost some weight and earned some unnamed amount of money for charity. Once all the eliminated people got the boot, it was so boring I could barely even stand to watch it anymore. But I get paid to. Not sure why other people stuck around 'til the end.
So I've got some thoughts on how they can improve this show for next year (or at least make it suck less) ... if they decide to force this show on us again next year.
Find richer, more famous celebrities
Spencer might have been a dick for saying that he was the biggest star out there, but in terms of current relevance, he was kind of right. He, Heidi and Janice were arguably the biggest household names, and even Janice is a bit of a stretch. Not saying that the others didn't have a modicum of fame in their respective fields, but for most of them, it had been a while. I'd love to see how some bigger stars (used to their entourages) survive in the wilderness.
Cast more opinionated personalities
Watching everyone play nice in camp isn't exactly fun for viewers at home. And granola bar theft is unimportant, and peeing in camp is just gross. They need to find people who are going to be from polar opposite worlds and can bicker or squabble to make things exciting. Take a page from the folks who cast Big Brother or Survivor -- they know how to keep things somewhat interesting even after all these seasons.
More audience participation
Watching people do outrageous challenges is fun, but it is way more fun when the voting public gets a say in who has to do the challenges. I want the option to torture Janice by making her swim with crocodiles for ten minutes. Let the fans send in suggestions for challenges, let the fans have more than like two opportunities to vote on those challenges. Don't let the celebs decide for themselves who gets to compete for the food, let us do it. It will be way more entertaining for the mean-spirited watchers like myself.
Don't let them make movies or color
I get that eventually sitting around for twenty days can be a little tedious, but find more new tasks for them to compete in, instead of just food challenges, and add more physical challenges that earn them other rewards or something. Never again should I, or anyone else, be subjected to watching grown people sit around and doodle on a show that isn't about fashion design. Make them earn water, earn pots and pans and rice and beans, make them work a little harder and get a little dirtier.
More live footage
The unpredictable nature of the live feeds is always more engaging than the rest of the show, be it rainstorms or a celebrity spouting off their own personal agenda. Having more live challenges or interviews would really liven things up a bit. Just make sure those censors are at the ready with the bleeping button.
Get new hosts
Damien and Myleene? They need to go. Hire someone who has a sense of humor and another sidekick who doesn't feel compelled to tell us how hard they suffered when they did the UK version of this show. Maybe Sanjaya could host it, and he could tell all the newbies that he thought it was cake and they are all wimps. Or give Chris Harrison a new job. He's boring, but he'd probably jump at the chance to be eaten alive by bugs in the jungle instead of dealing with a new group of bachelors.
No more two hour episodes, ever.
Unless there's a double elimination (and even then) there is no need for this show to occupy two hours a night. It gets redundant and even more pointless than it already is. One hour a night is more than enough to check in on the celebs, see the latest challenges, find out the camp drama and send someone home.
Did I mention find a more interesting variety of quality celebrities? Yeah, I did. Can that be on the list twice? Because that's pretty key.
What would you like to see them do if there's another season? Did you like it fine the way it was?
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