Self-explanatory and obvious, sure, but that just makes it all the more necessary. For a show that did such an aggressive job trimming the fat from this season, it's just astounding that these two are most likely coming back for another season of wasting our time onscreen.
Chris Harrison (The Bachelor)
Chris Harrison has literally nothing to do on this show, and he's so clearly miserable that it's time to make a change. I've always thought it would be great if he could just tell the Bachelors/Bachelorettes the rumors he's heard about the people who "aren't here for the right reasons," so fewer ill-informed, "I'm giving Wes a rose" decisions could finally start being made, but alas, that doesn't look like it's ever going to happen. Maybe he could set up the little contestant 8x10s before the Bachelor/Bachelorette has to stare at them wistfully at the end of each episode? He seems like he'd be good at putting inanimate things on another inanimate thing, being inanimate himself.
Kelly Rowland (The Fashion Show)
That sure turned out to be a bust, didn't it? But still, she seems like a sweet girl; I don't want her to be jobless. She can still run around giving non-advice to the contestants while they're working. Doesn't mean anybody has to film it.
Samantha Harris (Dancing with the Stars)
Samantha Harris is the kind of person I almost feel bad for -- everybody hates her, and she seems to be incapable of getting any better at reading stupid cue cards and interviewing people about some simple thing like dancing a dance well or poorly, which is why I wouldn't say I'd really like to fire her. But I definitely need to not see her on television anymore.
Stephanie Pratt (The Hills)
Her sole function on this show has always seemed to be going back and forth between Spencer and Lauren to fuel drama, but they've pretend-made up now, and besides -- Lauren's left the show. Let's get her a job as somebody's off-screen umbrella holder or something. If we set the bar low enough, maybe she can manage to not get fired this time.
Ty Pennington (Extreme Home Makeover)
He's annoying and he looks more and more like Wile E. Coyote every day. Put his extreme home making-over expertise behind the camera!
Jill Zarin's Mom (The Real Housewives of New York)
I know, this is awful, but the woman isn't nearly as compelling television as Jill is convinced she is. If she feels the need to have some tear-jerking heart-to-heart with Bethenny again, please do it without the cameras, show.
Lynn (The Real Housewives of Orange County)
I don't care if she makes them stupid bracelets from her stupid bracelet line behind-the-stupid-scenes, but she has got to go next season.
LaLa and Stryker (Charm School)
They're supposed to be Ricki's spies, and I suppose they do accomplish that, but holy crap they're boring and useless. Besides, a lot of these girls are comfortable snitching on each other in at least some limited capacity, so it's not like official spies are completely indispensable.
And if the show comes back, Damien and Myleene (I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!)
While I will admit I enjoyed Damien's weird feud with Janice to a certain extent, and I do own a Hear'Say album that I might still listen to in desperate times (a.k.a. days that end in "Y"), these two were really bad hosts and harbingers of perpetual filler. How dull do you have to be to be less entertaining than Patti Blagojevich pariah-ing around the jungle? Very, that's how much! It's almost unfathomable how much!
Others? Leave your picks below!
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