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The Telefile
<i>Superstars</I>: Not Super, More Like Average Sorta Stars

I watched the entire hour and a half of Superstars last night and I'm still not sure I get this show. The premise seems to be taking pseudo-celebrities and pairing them with a pro-athlete and then forcing them to do different athletic tasks. This seems simple enough, and it is how the old show worked, but I guess I just expected some sort of twist or ... at the very least something new and different. Maybe we could have seen the sports stars try and train the celebrities, but the problem seems to be that the sports stars are new to many of these tasks too. I can't imagine that Terrell Owens encounters a lot of cargo nets in his football training.

The other big problem I had was trying to figure out who the athletes were and who the celebrities were. To me, when I see Dan Cortese, I presume he's an athlete because I watched him host MTV Sports for all those years. And Maksim Chmerkovskiy, I consider him an athlete as well because he's a professionally trained dancer, which is pretty sporty. But both were paired with pro athletes. I think I spent most of the time trying to figure out who some of the people were, instead of watching the show.

The actual sports were kinda interesting. The first challenge was a foot/bike race where the partners had to trade off in order to complete the race. Then the second had them kayaking in the fake river rapids at the Atlantis resort. Nice. There was some sort of complex scoring system that served to basically decide who ended up having to run the obstacle course. Terrell Owens and his bitchy model partner Joanna Krupa came in last, mostly because of Terrell's unlucky tangle with the aforementioned cargo nets. He wasn't the only athlete who had trouble; basketball player Lisa Leslie got so discombobulated that she ended up going backwards at one point, but Krupa basically called her teammate a lousy athlete and then diva'd out and refused to do interviews. I don't know who the hell she is, but she can go back into whatever hole she just crawled out of. I normally like reality bitches, but only when it is called for, and not on a show that seems to be about good sportsmanship.

The show might have worked better in a shorter time frame -- I didn't need replays on everything, and I'd really like to see Maksim getting worked over by his partner, after seeing him strictly train people for Dancing With the Stars. Since there is no Olympics to fill my sporty void this summer, I guess I'll keep watching it (I did make it through all of Battle of the Network Reality Stars), but frankly, it's way funnier to watch the people try and handle the insane obstacle courses that Wipeout has. Maybe they could tape at that set if there's another season.

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