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Top Chef Masters: Fictional Contestants We'd Like to See

After five seasons of pitting unknown chefs against each other to see who can make the fewest stupid cooking mistakes, Top Chef is mixing things up and pitting world renowned chefs against each other! Hopefully, there will be a lot fewer stupid mistakes, since by now these people have probably made them all, and we can get down to seeing who is actually a better chef. But we have one problem. Are any of these chefs better than Lafayette from True Blood? Or Ned from Pushing Daisies? We compiled a list of our favorite fictional chefs to see how each would do under the pressures of the Top Chef competition.

The Soup Nazi (Seinfeld)
And although his highly organized kitchen would help him turn out dishes like clockwork, we can see him getting thrown off by any sudden changes in the rules, or being asked to make something that's not soup.

Piper Halliwell (Charmed)
Piper's witchy powers of molecular combustion could help her when it comes to rapidly boiling water and reheating cold food, and her ability freezing people could give her the advantage when time is of the essence. And if all else fails, she can put a potion in her dish that will make the judges fall in love with her.

Ned (Pushing Daisies)
Ned specializes in pies, and while we're sure he could make the hell out of a chicken pot pie, he'll have to be sure to wear gloves, or else his bringing-back-the-dead touch could revive his poultry on the plate.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes (Lost)
Hurley had to get creative when making food from a limited menu while he was a castaway, as well as later when he worked as a chef for the Dharma Initiative, so we bet he could work with whatever ingredients were thrown at him.

Sookie St. James (Gilmore Girls)
A talented chef, Sookie is unfortunately unable to delegate in the kitchen, which puts her at a disadvantage in team competition. But she often rewrites her menus at the last minute, so cooking in a time crunch should be a snap.

Det. Jason Walsh (The Unusuals)
By day, he's a cop. By night, he's also a cop. When he has a few free hours, he opens his diner and cooks using whatever ingredients he has on-hand. His ability to improvise should impress the judges, especially when he whips up his pork chops a la Skittles.

Lafayette (True Blood)
His food is delicious, but when the competition starts getting hot, this part-time drug dealer can dip into his pharmaceutical supply. Nothing like a little vampire blood to make a dish truly mind-blowing.

Barth (You Can't Do That on Television)
Early on in the competition, one of the contestants will go missing, and when the judges ask Barth about it, he'll reply, "Whaddaya think's IN the burgers?" Rimshot, followed by a criminal investigation.

Willy Wonka (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
On the downside, some of Wonka's more experimental recipes may cause bloating and skin discoloration. On the upside, the snozzberries really taste like snozzberrries.

Gareth Blackstock (Chef!)
The other contestants would do well to avoid enraging Gareth, unless they want this to turn into an episode of Hell's Kitchen.

The Swedish Chef (The Muppet Show)
If you thought Stefan and Fabio had adorable accents, wait till you get a load of this guy. He'll certainly have trouble explaining "Steering Wheel Souffle" to the judges.

Elzar (Futurama)
Essentially a four-armed parody of Emeril Lagasse, Elzar will be disqualified for excessive use of the Spice Weasel and the phrase "Bam!"

Chef (South Park)
Magically, this animated elementary school cafeteria chef will end up going all the way. His winning dish? Chocolate Salty Balls.

Which made-up chef do you think would go all the way? Shake and bake below.

21 Comments

June 8, 2009 3:58 PM
angie
Reply

what about monica on friends?

June 8, 2009 6:47 PM
Rayna
Reply

The replicator from "Star Trek," of course. You tell it what you want, it makes it. And it very rarely has temper tantrums.

June 8, 2009 9:41 PM
Ruby
Reply

someone remembered Elzar???
excellent in every way.

June 9, 2009 7:48 AM
Gitano
Reply

Yeah, my first thought was Monica from Friends as well. Seeing her obsessive-compulse herself into a meltdown could be entertaining.

June 9, 2009 11:09 AM
Smarties
Reply

I agree with the list, but Olive from Pushing Daisies would have been completely awesome with her randomly singing amazingly about her issues throughout the show.

June 9, 2009 5:25 PM
redrabbit
Reply

I'd like to see Igor from M*A*S*H on Hell's Kitchen. He'd give Ramsey an aneurysm.

June 9, 2009 6:27 PM
Chuckee
Reply

I remember when the Swedish Chef made cole slaw. He tossed a cabbage into the air and blasted it with a shotgun. Wicked cool!

June 9, 2009 7:12 PM
nancy
Reply

I miss Gareth Blackstock! the original Hostile Chef.

June 9, 2009 7:45 PM
Tommy
Reply

How about the Jetsons Foodaracacycle ?

June 9, 2009 10:05 PM
AmyGal
Reply

Sophia Petrillo from the Golden Girls. Put her on Hell's Kitchen and the whole show would be her and Ramsey swapping hillarious insults.

June 10, 2009 9:20 AM
Anj
Reply

Letitia Cropley from Vicar of Dibley.

June 10, 2009 11:56 AM
Terra
Reply

What about Wilson from House?

June 10, 2009 12:23 PM
Pseudowolf
Reply

How could you omit Vincent of Eureka? After all, his policy is "If you order it, we can make it".

June 10, 2009 2:52 PM
wimple
Reply

What about Alice from "The Brady Bunch?" She makes a wicked pork chops & applesauce.

June 10, 2009 3:11 PM
Andy
Reply

Frank Costanza, if he could avoid flashbacks to the Korean War.

June 10, 2009 5:23 PM
Hello
Reply

How about Nelix from Star Trek Voyager.

June 10, 2009 9:49 PM
Em
Reply

First thought: Jack Bourdain (Kitchen Confidential)

June 10, 2009 11:28 PM
WifeofBath
Reply

Hannibal Lector. Mmmmmm.

June 11, 2009 11:45 AM
Constantinople
Reply

How about Poppy from Seinfeld?

Sure, he was a little sloppy, but he'd fit right in with that dorm room challenge.

June 11, 2009 10:23 PM
Kristi
Reply

Sue Ann Nivens (Betty White) on Mary Tyler Moore...

June 12, 2009 9:57 AM
Obi-Dan
Reply

Mel from Alice? At least he wore a hat. How the city health depts. haven't such the TC kitchen down amazes me.

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