1. House (House)
House is undeniably a genius, but the people who work for him are much less so. His supposedly highly-acclaimed team (some of whom were vetted through a highly scientific process of numbering candidates and giving them ridiculous nicknames and making them compete for attention) spends each episode nearly killing the patient with two of their misdiagnoses before finally some random occurrence/conversation sparks a genius idea in House's mind and he comes up with a cure. We're not so sure that we'd like to be poked and prodded and poisoned for a chance to get healed.

2. Jackie (Nurse Jackie)
She's in a constant haze of Percocet and can be more than a little bit vindictive if you cross her. On the plus side, she's usually on the side of the patient, unless said patient is deemed not worthy by her standards, in which case, the patient should watch their wallets closely. And her healing powers have to be squeezed in between having sex with the hospital pharmacist who keeps her in pain pills, juggling her family life and dealing with the dopey doctor who inappropriately touches people when he gets nervous (needless to say, we will not be seeking his help any time soon). On the plus side, however, you might accidentally get a dose of some muscle relaxers mixed in with your coffee.

3. Dr. Huizenga (The Biggest Loser/Dance Your Ass Off)
This guy has carved a little niche for himself on shows about overweight folks, but he's pretty much Dr. Doom. He seems to have built a career on telling people that they are actually 20 years older than they think they are, and that they are on the brink of death... or at the very least, diabetes. He may be right, but that's not the kind of bedside manner we really want.

4. Christian Troy (Nip/Tuck)
He's a sought after plastic surgeon, but he pretty much sleeps with anything that walks. Need we remind you that he even slept with Rosie O'Donnell's Dawn Budge. So at best we'd end up with smooth skin and a great new rack, but at worst, we'd end up exposed to a host of venereal diseases. Those aren't the kinds of odds we like.

5. Meredith Grey (Grey's Anatomy)
There's a lot of questionable behavior going on at Seattle Grace (hence the reason the hospital's ranking slipped so much). George has been dubbed 007 for killing people, Izzie is wishy-washy about if she even wants to be a doctor (when she's even healthy) and gets overly attached to her patients. Then there's Meredith, who likely got this gig in the first place because of her mother's sterling record, and though she does occasionally save patients, when not whining about her life, she has been known to use a doll to prepare for surgery. Also, she had the college nickname of Death. Not sure we'd trust her with a scalpel.

6. J.D. Dorian (Scrubs)
We adore the antics of Turk and J.D., but these two spend way more time goofing around, talking to co-workers, making fun of interns, drinking coffee and coming up with crazy ideas than they do actually curing patients. Though if we had to pick between the two of them, we'd somehow trust Turk the surgeon, because he'd be less prone to daydreaming during our consultation.

7. Doctor Hank (Royal Pains)
This whole concierge doctor thing seems a little bit sketchy. Sure, he can spot a rare disease and treat you without the whole waiting in the ER for hours and hours thing, but some of his methods are a bit on the unconventional side... to say the least. Not to mention the whole practice is more than a little unsanitary, since their entire operation runs out of the back of his assistant's truck and most of his procedures are done on carpets.

8. Dr. Drew (Celebrity Rehab)
We know that Dr. Drew is an addiction specialist and all, but he really never seems to help anyone... at least not on Celebrity Rehab/Sober House. We're sure he's helped many a teenager learn how to properly avoid STDs doing Loveline. But his VH1 shows seem more like an excuse for these stars to stay famous, and for him to just keep them alive for the duration of their stay. If we've got an addiction problem, we'd rather handle it quietly in the good old Betty Ford clinic.

9. Toby Logan (The Listener)
This newbie paramedic spends more time as an amateur detective than he does on board an ambulance. He uses his ability to read minds to solve mysteries... and occasionally finds someone who needs medical assistance. He should consider altering his career path, because he shows very little interest in his actual job.

10. Christina Hawthorne (Hawthorne)
She spends most of her time fighting with doctors about how nurses are really better than doctors, and being distracted by her personal life. She's so frantically trying to avoid her own issues that she misses things like a staffer nearly killing a patient out of spite, or a homeless woman who is hemorrhaging right in front of her face. In general, we're praying we never end up at her hospital where nurses give hand jobs to injured soldiers, Michael Vartan is somehow Chief of Staff and brings lollipops into an OR, and guys wielding knives can get through security without hassle.

Dishonorable mention: Addison Montgomery (Private Practice)
Addison used to be one of the best surgeons around. She ruled at Seattle Grace, but she's gotten... soft since she moved to sunnier Southern California. Her patients seem to be an afterthought now, since she's busy flirting with other doctors, or patient's husbands, and trying to get all the good gossip around Oceanside Wellness. If she were her former badass surgeon self, we'd trust her implicitly, but this new Addison, we're a little wary about.

Other medical professionals currently wreaking havoc on the airwaves that you'd want to stay away from? Sound off below.