With rumors that One Tree Hill and Ghost Whisperer will be jumping ahead in time, we thought of some other shows that might benefit from a leap ahead to the future to get them out of the ridiculous storyline corners they've written themselves into.
While most of the time we'd rather see the show take a long leap off a short pier, we'd be happy just to see them leap over a tall building in a single bound. Meaning let's skip all of this dithering about and just turn Clark into Superman once and for all. Hopefully, in five years, the Red-Blue Blur will be history, Lois will be back from the future and the real Jimmy Olsen will be an intern at the Planet. Oh, and the show's budget will have increased to include actual superhero fights and costumes.
It seems like they manage to kill off one or two major Heroes per season, so maybe in five years all of the characters that currently annoy us (basically, everybody) will be dead. Maybe a nuclear device goes off between now and then, we don't know, but this would be a prime opportunity to get rid of the entire main cast and replace them with similar character types with all-new powers and plotlines, played by a whole new bunch of actors. We've even picked them for you!
3. 18 Kids and Counting
Michelle will be 47 years old five years from now, but it's not like this woman has a normal reproductive system. There will probably be about five sets of multiples out of her by then, plus Josh and Anna's (at least) five kids they'll have added to the brood, plus however many other Duggar kids will have started procreating by 2014 -- it basically boils down to a Quiverfull army of about 179,366,492 and Counting. We don't know who is pouring water on the Duggar gremlins, but we do know it's never going to stop.
4. Mad Men
In the years between 1962 and 1967 the merger has gone through, but faced with the chance at a new beginning with Betty and their new baby, Don quits the advertising business and opens up a record store in Greenwich Village, and the Draper family becomes a troop of Doors super fans. This season, Betty joins the Broadway cast of Hair, Joan takes Sally under her wing and the two become full-time Vietnam War protesters thanks to their new hippie boyfriends (who Don punches eventually -- just lines the two of 'em up and punches right across them both in one awesome move), and Pete puts himself out of his misery and no one misses him but us.
5. Gossip Girl
Let's face it, most shows suck when they try to send their high school students to college, as they come up with contrived situations so that they can all stay together. It would be awesome if we could just skip all that awkwardness and head straight to post-college life, where they'd be working implausibly high-paying jobs straight out of school. This shouldn't present a problem, since all of the actors already look like they're in their 20s anyway, and Chuck Bass already acts like he's 40.
With Esteban disposed of somehow (who cares how, really?), and the recent legalization of marijuana in the U.S. in 2013, Nancy has a booming legal pot dealing business in Ren Mar and a five-year-old we get to meet without having to deal with any baby drama whatsoever! As for Celia, she's still a disaster of course, but she's opened up a rehab center right next door so she can hypocrite her way through the season. As an added bonus, over the past five years all of the characters have found a way to stop being cartoon caricatures of their former selves, and we're treated to a non-Looney Tunes season for the first time in a while.
7. Dancing With the Stars
What we wouldn't give to skip over the next ten seasons of this show (since they torture us with two seasons a year). Ideally, it would be cancelled five years hence, but if it is still on, we'll get to see Jonathan (post-hip replacement) still trying desperately to find a partner who will help him win, Samantha's contract will be up and she'll have been replaced with someone who can actually conduct interviews, and the "celebrity" well will be so tapped that the entire cast of "stars" will consist of Rock of Love rejects, Celeb Rehabbers and Speidi (who will dance together, drop out, come back in and then finally be replaced by her sister).
8. Real World/Road Rules Challenge
After running out of locations on earth, Duel 15 takes place on the moon. It'll be great. Mark will be like 90 and call the other contestants "whippersnappers." There will be new STDs that all the skeezy, slightly incestuous girls and guys can pass around. Naturally, Diem will say that she's ready to settle down with CT, and he'll snub her, go float off into some crater to get an intergalactic BJ from another girl and then come back and randomly punch someone who is wearing space-age footie pajamas.
In all seriousness, having Dexter jump ahead five years would actually be great for the show. Dexter and Rita's son could be beginning to show the early signs of being a killer, and we could see Dex struggle with that, Deb will have fully grown into her detective promotion, and we could skip the upcoming season starring John Lithgow as Dex's new nemesis altogether, which would be one very annoying bullet thankfully dodged.
10. The Biggest Loser
With the obesity rate only growing, as evidenced by the fact that each season we get contestants who tip the scales at increasingly high numbers (Biggest woman ever! Youngest most unhealthy person ever! Most on-the-brink-of-death contestant ever!), if we skip ahead five years, we'll be looking at some staggering starting statistics. Those roly-poly people in Wall-E? That's who Jillian will be screaming at. Also, Bob's blue team will still be trying to get their first ever winner.
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