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TWoP 10: Summer's Guiltiest Pleasures (So Far)

For years we've been conditioned to lower our TV expectations during the warmer months, seeking out shows that we would never allow to clutter our overstuffed DVRs at any other time of year. But even though it's only early June, there's already an unusually high amount of truly addictive television - shows that we should be ashamed to watch, but aren't. Here's our top ten favorite guilty viewing pleasures of the summer so far.

1. I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here
We can't stand Speidi, but their on-again, off-again, will-they-or-won't-they antics does makes for good TV, even if we feel a bit gross about admitting that. Spencer might have an over-inflated sense of self-worth (to say the least), but he's right in thinking he's the star of this show since things are about 75 percent less entertaining without him around. John Salley and his name-calling ways don't even come close to picking up the slack, though watching the pseudo-famous get nibbled on by rats and bitten by bullet ants in the name of "charity," while a person most famous for being an MTV VJ looks down his nose at them, does delight us to no end.

2. The Real Housewives of NJ
These ladies may not make us laugh out loud the way the girls from the New York installment do, but we're still hooked on the familial drama, especially after the whole revelation of Danielle's (a.k.a. Beverly's) secret past involving kidnapping, an arrest, drugs and stripping, which was all detailed nicely in a book. Caroline, who made a trip to the library to dig up this tome in order to "protect her family," just might be our new hero.

3. Real World/Road Rules Challenge
We barely even know which shows these people are from, and we barely even remember the last Road Rules, and yet, we were sucked in again by Duel 2. Maybe it's because there's always the chance of Big Easy having another near-death experience, or maybe it's because the actual challenges are so kick-ass that we secretly hope that Survivor "borrows" some of them for their next season, or maybe it's because we can't help but feel super-intelligent watching these idiots, whose entire lives revolve around this franchise, trying (and failing) to do something as simple as spelling "throne."

4. Jon & Kate Plus 8
They're the worst parents aliiiiiive! Hilarious! Honestly, we can't really explain why we're addicted to watching this family self-destruct before our very eyes, but we are. It's shameful, we're owning that, but there's no one we love screaming at through the television more than Jon and Kate Gosselin. And Kate's hair, of course, which is the eleventh nightmare character on the show.

5. The Bachelorette
Oh, Jillian. Back when you were a contestant on The Bachelor, we actually kind of liked you, as far as morons who would compete for the love of Jason Mesnick go. But now you're the Bachelorette, and that affection has gone right out the window. Now we just love watching you be tortured by these jackasses, from dealing with creepy foot fetishists to drunken Neanderthals with rage problems, to having to pretend to be really impressed by that horrible song Wes keeps singing in hopes of getting a record deal. And special props for making two of them participate in a homoerotic role-playing situation last week and allowing us to watch their little homophobic heads explode. That was good television.

6. Jesse James Is a Dead Man
We're not sure that there's anything really wrong with us for wanting to watch a man set himself on fire or do Evel Knievel-type stunts in order to be on television, but there are those out there who consider this type of programming beneath them. Those are probably the people who'd rather go see Jesse's wife in The Proposal during its opening weekend. But will Sandra nearly puke pulling 9 Gs in a fighter jet in that movie? Don't think so.

7. Daisy of Love/Charm School
We feel equally guilty about watching these VH1 shows, so we've paired them together. They are both admittedly terrible spin-offs of already horrifying series, and yet they still have season passes in our DVRs. Daisy lacks the wildly entertaining famewhores that Rock of Love Bus had, while Charm School has those entertaining famewhores (paired with the less-entertaining famewhores from Real Chance of Love) but lacks any real purpose. And all the good (read: insane) people keep quitting these shows instead of having the decency to wait to be eliminated. Still, although we tell ourselves that we'll be done with Charm School when Ashley's gone, and that we're only watching Daisy to see if she ends up alone with Ricki, we'll probably stick around to see how they finish up. The shame.

8. Greek
We are way too old to be so hooked on this show about fraternity parties and secret societies and teen dating drama, but we just can't help it. There's just something about the dimwitted-yet-charming Cappie and the dorky-but-intelligent Rusty that keeps us tuning into a station with "family" in the title, despite our racier tastes and better judgment.

9. Southern Belles: Louisville
It's obviously scripted and contrived, but scripted and contrived can be entertaining when it involves girls as bitchy, stereotypical (read: Shea) and trashy (read: Kellie) as these girls are.

10. Wipeout
Yes, we weren't sold on this show when it first started, but somehow watching people bounce around on enormous red balls and into pools of water, while narrowly avoiding concussions, gets funnier the more times we see it. The torturous obstacle course has only upped the insane ante this season, with more foam, more cannons and more opportunities for people to get hit in painful places for our viewing pleasure.

16 Comments

June 5, 2009 1:15 PM
Mitch0046
Reply

I love Wipeout. Especially watching some of those contestants posing and shrieking before they start, then getting their asses kicked by the course! I'm evil that way.

June 5, 2009 1:37 PM
Amanda
Reply

Wipeout is the ultimate guilty pleasure. The Wipeout Zone is sometimes too strenuous and tortuous to be much fun, but the early rounds are hilarious. Plus, Wipeout isn't as tacky as the other reality shows on this list.

I wonder how they pick the contestants for the show. I've noticed fewer athletic types among the men. The women have been making a very strong showing so far this season. The second episode featured a first- an all-female Wipeout Zone!

June 5, 2009 2:03 PM
jenny
Reply

Seems like your staff writers have a serious issue with men and a limited voacabulary. Having to resort to grade school words like morons only point to the fact that they are the quintessential ineptness of our failed educational system.

June 5, 2009 2:35 PM
Jay
Reply

Jenny, lighten the fuck up. It's a website that reviews television shows and movies, not some academic journal.

June 5, 2009 2:57 PM
Uncle Igmar
Reply

I have to give you credit if you can make it through even 5 minutes of this accumulated crap. It's almost a shame that the FCC doesn't govern actual TV content - there's be a lot of dark cable channels - VH1, MTV, E!, Bravo (Except for "Inside the Actor's Studio) and The Learning Channel should have it's license revoked, burned, shredded, mutilated, and burned again for all of the idiocy they show. Where is the "learning" in watching parentys with no evident self control in having kid after kid and then wacthing them - paint drying IS more exciting than that. Nuff said.

June 5, 2009 4:30 PM
Ben
Reply

It's shows like this (the only one that was somewhat enjoyable was THE DUEL 2 and I stopped watching that when it was clear Evan wasn't going to be eliminated anytime soon) that have done much for my enjoyment of life; there are many fun places to visit and movies to watch, and no distractions from this list of bilge. Maybe BIG BROTHER 11 hosted by expectant mom Julie Chen will be interesting. Not likely, though.

June 5, 2009 4:35 PM
JTMacc99
Reply

I only recently discovered Wipeout. For some reason, when I saw the ads for it last summer, I thought I was above that sort of thing... WRONG! I haven't laughed this hard at a TV show since Kramer slammed his $100 on the table and announced himself out of the competition.

All three announcers (John Henson!) add to the entertainment as opposed to distract from it. It's just way better than it should be in theory.

June 5, 2009 7:36 PM
esbropa
Reply

Yeah, I've secretly loved Wipeout since it first aired. It's the only show of its type that looks like it'd be really fun to play, and while contestants often embarrass themselves (and are ruthlessly mocked for it), there's nothing inherently humiliating about the coarse, and the announcers seem to genuinely be rooting for most of the players.

June 5, 2009 8:26 PM
Eric
Reply

The absence of "New York Goes to Work" invalidates this list.

June 5, 2009 10:50 PM
JP
Reply

The best part of Wipeout is the commentary by the Johns. Henson is still hysterical (used to love him on Talk Soup!). The written commentary and illustrations are priceless too.

June 6, 2009 1:30 AM
HoneyBee
Reply

I love Wipeout. The red bouncing balls just awesome.

June 6, 2009 2:34 PM
ratgirlagogo
Reply

Wipeout is just MXC minus the screamingly funny commentary.(No, the Johns are not funny.) MXC!! Now THERE'S a show that needs to come back!

June 7, 2009 12:24 AM
McCheesy
Reply

These shows all stink - there used to be some good summer fun on TV, but bringing back the failed "I'm a celebrity" shows just how low on ideas all these TV networks are now. This summer is a new low.

June 7, 2009 3:04 AM
Mara
Reply

See, I love Wipeout. There's just something about watching people hurt themselves for money that's awesome.

And ratgirl, I -hated- the commentaries on MXC. I used to mute that show, because some of it was just so goddamned irritating.

June 7, 2009 10:58 AM
Whip
Reply

Greek shouldn't be on this list. It's not a reality show, it's not a summer only show and it's not a guilty pleasure show. It's a quality show with good acting and good scripts and has been praised by critics repeatedly. Hardly something that should be lumped in the same category as daisy of love or anything speidi related.

June 7, 2009 2:01 PM
oufti
Reply

Wipeout during some minutes is funny.

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