10. On wishing for a massive head trauma:
"Oh in his mind Reagan is still President? [To Mitch] You lucky bastard." (From "Ludachristmas")

9. On how the rich are different:
Lemon: "I'm feeling pretty drunk."
Jack: "Well, it's business drunk, it's like rich drunk. Either way, it's legal to drive." (From "Succession")

8. On outdated technology:
Lemon: "Okay, very funny. You bought a pager from Dennis. Will you take it off now, please?"
Jack: "Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983." (From "Jack Meets Dennis")

7. On Italians:
"The Italians have a saying, Lemon: 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' And, although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct." (From "Blind Date")

6. On voting with your conscience:
Kenneth Parcell: "Oh, uh, no, sir. I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the Lord's name!"
Jack: "That's Republican. We count those." (From "Subway Hero")

5. On Liz's parents just telling it like it is:
Lemon: "Nice to have some positive reinforcement, isn't it?"
Jack: "Well, it's only positive reinforcement when they say it to you. In my case they're just stating the facts. I do look like the Arrow shirt man, I did lace up my skates professionally and I did do a fabulous job finishing my muffin." (From "Ludachristmas")

4. On bumping into Liz at a hotspot:
Jack: "Lemon, what happened? Did you take an Ambien with your Franzia and sleepwalk here?" (From "Cougars")



3. On reading too much into hobbies:
Lemon: "What's with the cookie jar?"
Jack: "I collect them."
Lemon: "Really, is that some kind of unresolved childhood thing?"
Jack: "Nice try. We never had any cookie jars in my home because my mother never baked us any cookies because she never felt we deserved any cookies so obviously it has nothing to do with my childhood."
Lemon: "But that cookie jar says 'Mom' on it."
Jack: "I don't think so. I've always viewed it as an upside down 'wow.'" (From "The Collection")

2. And the most famous one:
Lemon: "Why are you wearing a tux?"
Jack: "It's after 6. What am I, a farmer?" (From "Tracy Does Conan")

1. On what your portfolio says about you:
Jack: "Where do you invest your money, Lemon?"
Liz: "I've got like twelve grand in checking."
Jack: "Are you an immigrant?" (From "Rosemary's Baby")

And honorary mention for the entire "Reunion" episode from last season, which was so full of Jack/Lemon awesomeness I can't even choose from it: