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You could say I'm a bit masochistic when it comes to television. My problem is that I can't let go. It started when I was a young child, as I struggled through the college years of Sabrina the Teenage Witch because quitting would have made me feel guilty every time I looked at the autographed photo of Melissa Joan Hart on my wall. Then it was Grey's Anatomy, which became my TV equivalent of a boyfriend gone abusive - it hurt every time, but I kept hoping things would get better and go back to normal. Tasteless analogies aside, my worst case of TV masochism came with the introduction of Secret Life of the American Teenager -- only this time, the show sucked from the start.
I never planned on watching past the first episode; I tell myself every week I'm going to stop and yet, here I am, right on track with the beginnings of season two. I've thought a lot about why I can't stop watching Secret Life, and I think it's more than just a love-to-hate-it attachment. Yes, I hate every single character on the show and frequently enjoy making fun of them, but it's more than that. It's just so unbelievably absurd, so unrealistic while trying to be realistic, that I can't help but watch to see what kind of ridiculous thing they're going to pull out next. And so I've decided to compile the top five most ridiculous things about Secret Life of the American Teenager and why I just can't get enough of them.
The simultaneous confirmation and rejection of high school stereotypes.
The football player (Jack) and the cheerleader (Grace) are dating, but they're the good Christians who, up until recently, were waiting until marriage to have sex. Meanwhile the school whore (Adrian) and the sociopathic man-slut (Ricky) are in the marching band. I'd like to say that this creates multi-dimensional characters, but mostly the irony is just too good to resist.
Creative ways of breaking the law.
And all this time you thought fake IDs were for buying booze! Not so accurate on this show, as sex seems to be the only drug of choice for these guys. So when they all got caught with fake IDs, it was so Ben and Amy could elope underage and everyone else could attend the ceremony. And then they didn't understand why they weren't actually married under the law. This one just exemplifies the youthful innocence (ignorance?) that keeps me starry-eyed and coming back for more. Oh, to be young and in love.
The widowed Sausage King is engaged to the prostitute that was hired by the kid with Down's Syndrome.
I don't think this one needs much explanation. Not to mention that said prostitute/fiancée is played by Jennifer Coolidge, who is perhaps the most ridiculous person in Hollywood. It's just all so fitting.
Kissing leads to sex...
I get that it must be tough to work the discussion of foreplay into a show on ABC Family, but these kids are flaunting their pubescent desires when we haven't even seen them kiss with tongue. And although some talk of "the bases" would tickle my sense of nostalgia, I'm constantly fascinated by the characters' concepts of sexual progression.
...and sex leads to death.
This one is brilliant! Grace's dad tells her not to have sex, and then while she's doing it anyway, he dies in a car crash. Oh, and not only did she have sex, she had great sex - which explains why God felt the need to get his smite on. Despite everyone's protests, Grace is now positive she killed her father, and it makes for some delicious teenage angst.
What other crazy Secret Life storylines have left you begging for more (or less)? Leave 'em in the comments!
The simultaneous confirmation and rejection of high school stereotypes.
The football player (Jack) and the cheerleader (Grace) are dating, but they're the good Christians who, up until recently, were waiting until marriage to have sex. Meanwhile the school whore (Adrian) and the sociopathic man-slut (Ricky) are in the marching band. I'd like to say that this creates multi-dimensional characters, but mostly the irony is just too good to resist.
Creative ways of breaking the law.
And all this time you thought fake IDs were for buying booze! Not so accurate on this show, as sex seems to be the only drug of choice for these guys. So when they all got caught with fake IDs, it was so Ben and Amy could elope underage and everyone else could attend the ceremony. And then they didn't understand why they weren't actually married under the law. This one just exemplifies the youthful innocence (ignorance?) that keeps me starry-eyed and coming back for more. Oh, to be young and in love.
The widowed Sausage King is engaged to the prostitute that was hired by the kid with Down's Syndrome.
I don't think this one needs much explanation. Not to mention that said prostitute/fiancée is played by Jennifer Coolidge, who is perhaps the most ridiculous person in Hollywood. It's just all so fitting.
Kissing leads to sex...
I get that it must be tough to work the discussion of foreplay into a show on ABC Family, but these kids are flaunting their pubescent desires when we haven't even seen them kiss with tongue. And although some talk of "the bases" would tickle my sense of nostalgia, I'm constantly fascinated by the characters' concepts of sexual progression.
...and sex leads to death.
This one is brilliant! Grace's dad tells her not to have sex, and then while she's doing it anyway, he dies in a car crash. Oh, and not only did she have sex, she had great sex - which explains why God felt the need to get his smite on. Despite everyone's protests, Grace is now positive she killed her father, and it makes for some delicious teenage angst.
What other crazy Secret Life storylines have left you begging for more (or less)? Leave 'em in the comments!
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I caught Grace's self-hate scene in the newest episode. My new favorite line of all time is: "Because I ahd the most fun I've ever had in my entire life, my father died." I've been telling everyone I know about the scene and warning them off this show.
Ben pressuring Amy to have some kind of physical contact.
1) they are like...what...15? they sound like a couple that's been married for 10 years.
2) she just had a baby!! i know that's what's said on the show, but...a little obvious dontcha think?
I had a similar love/hate/love-to-snark-on-it relationship with Brenda Hampton's other successful series, 7th Heaven. But I was so completely scarred from that experience that I didn't even make it through the first episode of Secret Life.
What's interesting is that almost all of these ridiculous storylines are present in embryonic (no pun intended) form in 7th Heaven. Hampton clearly was on the "sex is bad and leads to bad things" kick for a long time with 7H and just couldn't wait to have an entire show dedicated to just that one theme.
The show is ridiculous. I'd like to play a drinking game where I do a shot everytime someone says the word 'sex', but I fear I'd die of slcohol poisoning like a half hour in.
Actors don't kiss with tongue on TV, that's why you're not seeing it. Duh.
The whole set-up of the show drove me nuts: Ben tells his friends he wants a girlfriend. One of them points out Amy. He is madly in love with her! They go out on one date and he wants to propose! His dad thinks that's a-okay! I had to stop watching halfway through Season 1 because of that level of ridiculousness.
Wait! They killed off Bo Duke?!? Not cool. You do not mess with John Schneider and get away with it...
HAHA, The acting on this show is horrible!! But Yet I find myself watching it because I think the actress who plays Amy is HOTT!
I think killing off John Schneider is a hit with crappy shows everywhere, Lindsey. I mean, just look at Smallville.
This show actually sounds a little like Smallville, but without superpowers.
Ok.. First off this show is amazing!! And if you are going to criticize this show at least get the facts right!! Grace's dad died of a plane crash not a car wreck!!
Danielle this show is terrible open your eyes dear
Actually Chris you should open your eyes!!
LOL, at Danielle and Chris, because the show is terrible. It's like watching a train wreck, you just can't peel your eyes away. I would add to the list the way these kids talk to their parents, which is completely out of hand. Where is the respect. I'm only 23, so it wasn't that long ago I was teen, but I would've got knocked into next week if I talked to my parents the way they did... and my friends consider me spoiled!!
Oh and can we add the Italian girl to the list of ridiculousness, that and whatever comes out of Jack's mouth, LOL. And whatever happened to Adrienne's dad's other kids with his last wife (there were 3 boys, one was his step-son, the other two biological??)
I cant stand the show! My husband and I laugh and make fun of all of them. The "christians" on this show are the worst characters of all! I too, wonder what happened to Adriennes brothers, Ashley. Can anyone imagine a bunch of girls running around high school saying JUST SAY ME! I dont remember anybody advertising the fact that they masterbate at my school. That's crazy.However, no matter how ridiculous it gets, I just cant make myself stop recording it to my dvr. Its like I have gone crazy!
THANK YOU!
Sometimes when you stop on a show while flipping through channels, and you can't believe what you're seeing/hearing... it's nice to realize you aren't the only one completely astounded. This is one SCARY ploy to convince kids everyone is sleeping around, and it's even more frightening how it numbs them to teenage pregnancy. Ay ay ay... just thinking about what I've seen is nuts!
My boyfriend and I are both 23 and we are scared to see what the world is coming to already!!!
Cheers! Good luck breaking the habit- I know sometimes shows can be so bad, they're good!
You have brought up a very fantastic points , thankyou for the post.
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Very good post. Made me realize I was totally wrong about this issue. I figure that one learns something new everyday. Mrs Right learned her lesson! Nice, informative website by the way.
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