The production staff for Beautiful Life seems to believe Mischa Barton has purchased a one-way ticket on the crazy express, because they're already creating a back-up plan if she remains too unstable to work on the show. Casting is underway for a new character named Jane who will be a lot like Mischa's character Sonja, except not.

In case you hadn't heard, India has a really big overpopulation problem. And according to Health and Family Welfare Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad, "80% of population growth can be reduced through TV." Seriously. He's not kidding, guys. India is going to bring electricity to rural populations so they can watch Conan instead of making babies. Didn't you know they only have sex because they're bored at night?

And now for the requisite casting news: Brooke Burns joins the cast of the new train wreck that is Melrose Place as mother and wife Vanessa Mancini, and Erika Christensen takes on an ambitious guest star role as a law student suffering from dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personalities) on Lie to Me.

Despite plans to retire Walter Cronkite's voiceover following his death last Friday, CBS has reconsidered and decided to keep the broadcast journalism legend's introduction to the CBS Evening News -- an honorable choice, most definitely.

CBS also pleased America in agreeing to air Obama's press conference this Wednesday night. NBC, however, did not. Why? Because it was going on at the same time as America's Got Talent with special guest interviewee Susan Boyle! But fret not, my patriotic friends, the White House rescheduled the press conference from 8 to 9 PM, so now NBC has agreed. All I have to say is thank goodness Fox stood their (politically biased) ground and opted to air So You Think You Can Dance. Aren't we all happy now?