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Dear Andy Rooney, When You Start Rambling About the Wonders of Elastics, It's Time to Retire.

I can't say that I'm a fan of 60 Minutes in general, but by and large I can ignore it, except when it cuts into The Amazing Race because some sort of sporting event ran long and threw off CBS' entire Sunday night lineup. Last night Big Brother was the bumped show because announcers apparently spent a good long time in shock that Tiger Woods lost or something. So I lamely watched the end of the news magazine shocked by how completely irrelevant Andy Rooney is now.

Typically when this show runs into TAR, he's griping about one of his pet peeves like a cantankerous old man and that's fine; it kind of reminds me of my grandpa, and I at least get it -- I do work at TWoP, after all, so I appreciate people sounding off with their opinions. But yesterday my mind was boggled by the inanity that came out of Rooney's mouth. He literally did an entire segment on things that have existed for decades. I'm not even remotely kidding. He basically said that he was sitting at his desk earlier in the week thinking about all the tools he needs to do his job on a daily basis. These tools weren't iPhones, computers or even a Blackberry. Nope, not even close. Instead he marveled at elastics, a tape dispenser and a staple remover. Apparently in his world, a staple remover is a fantastic invention that might even be more useful than the stapler itself. Then he went on to expose his antiquated ways when he wielded a letter opener and informed the world that it didn't get much use anymore. Not because most people send emails or text messages, but because he has a woman who opens his mail for him. For a moment, I thought that Mad Men had started early. Lastly, he showed off his telephone -- it was a model that probably was made circa 1989, but at least it didn't have a rotary dial. He half-heartedly lamented the fact that he gets unwanted phone calls.

I hate to pick on an older guy for being out of touch, but even my nearly 90-year-old grandma is more aware of technology. And isn't there a producer on this show who has veto power on what actually gets filmed for this? Is there not bigger news in the world that could be reported during this time? Or at least could Rooney comment on something that happened in this century? Perhaps a segment on how the stapler industry is struggling in this tough economy because the world is becoming increasingly paperless and instead relying on emails and such? Pointing at things on your desk isn't a newsy segment, and certainly doesn't deserve primetime promotion... even if it was just by accident.

10 Comments

August 17, 2009 11:18 AM
Justin
Reply

AMEN! Bout damn time someone wrote something about this. I've been cringing over his segments for years. I actually dread the beginning of Big Brother every season on Sunday's simply because this guy alone runs into it's time every week. He and Larry King need to join a club already.

August 17, 2009 12:04 PM
jess
Reply

haha..i thought I was the only person who WTF!!!'s whenever this guy appears on screen..

I also felt alittle sad as it reminded me of my grandpa and his little rants @ the dinner table abt nothing/everything

Andy do yourself a favor and STOP!!!!

August 17, 2009 12:35 PM
Angie
Reply

My favorite part of that segment last night was when he was wished there was some way to know was calling so you could avoid unwanted phone calls. Uh... caller ID? It's been around for quite some time now.

Even in the days when he had things to say that were (marginally) more relevent, I always hated Andy Rooney, but I really can't stand the caricature he's become.

August 17, 2009 12:50 PM
Maggi Saar
Reply

I...turned my Staple Remover into a "pet" snake. Cause the prongs look like fangs. I gave him little eyes and a tail and stripes. I get great amusement out of the little thing while at my desk. I'm also 6.

So, yeah, I'm kinda with AR on the Staple Remover love. But he still has Crazy Mouth.

August 17, 2009 1:32 PM
Rhonda
Reply

I think last week he did the same thing as this week except he was showing us all the things in his kitchen drawers. Obviously he's run out of topics -- retire, Andy!

August 17, 2009 3:04 PM
Lany
Reply

I liked when he pointed to the mirror and it was yellowed with age. Christ on a cracker are we supposed to believe he actually uses the mirror? His eyebrows!!! I think it's time for him to stop pocketing hard rolls at restaurants and take a nice long rest somewhere

August 17, 2009 3:42 PM
Lauren
Reply

He did a segment on the different kinds of veggies available in the supermarket that had my husband and me cracking up. Take it for what it is - ridiculous, irrelevant humor, nothing more nothing less. Sad that the folks at 60 minutes haven't figured out that there are a zillion more pressing things to run stories about, but oh well.....

August 17, 2009 9:51 PM
Debbie
Reply

I understand that most people under the age of 40 would find Andy Rooney's ramblings less than relevant, but the man is a legend in a time when there are no more news men/women, just news readers. This man wrote for Stars and Stripes during WWII and was there to document the liberation of nazi concentration camps. If you listen to him you get a perspective of the world as it is viewed by what Tom Brokow refers to as the "World's Greatest Generation". As we lose more of these people every day to old age, as we just lost Walter Cronkite, we need to treasure this generation for what they have done for all of us.

August 18, 2009 2:08 PM
Genius
Reply

I would like to address the CBS overruns on Sunday. It is INFURIATING! We have to put up with it nearly every week during the fall, thanks to f'ing football. I don't want to have to deal with it in the summer thanks to stupid golf. It literally throws off the entire night, and pisses me off. It seriously is the only network programming decision that makes my blood boil. Stupid sports. Stupid CBS!!

August 20, 2009 3:53 PM
Stone
Reply

Most of 60 minutes shows were or are about the uglier side of life and it is always good to have a little humor at the end. to bad it inconvienced a few people that there non-imginated show was delayed.

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