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Today's TWoP News: August 18, 2009

by Shayna Makaron August 18, 2009 12:57 PM
Today's TWoP News: August 18, 2009

Steve Harvey becomes a news reporter, Cartoon Network wants to stop showing cartoons, and ABC decided it would be a good idea to subject everyone to another on-screen version of The Time Traveler's Wife. Never mind all the other stuff -- I just want to know who thought it'd be funny to put crack in everyone's OJ this morning.

No need to get your panties in a twist just yet, 24 fans. While the producers do have some tricks up their sleeves regarding how to properly wrap up the show (sans Audrey), they also have some new ideas for how to keep it going if it isn't cancelled -- perhaps a plot twist involving recently cast David Anders (Alias, Heroes).

I can't really tolerate Steve Harvey at any time of day, much less 7 AM. But for those of you who can, the comedian will be joining Good Morning America to report on family & relationship topics.

While there has been talk of Jessica Simpson's daddy slash manager pushing American Idol producers to hire her as Paula's replacement, Jessica confirmed that those rumors aren't true. Cue big fat sigh of relief. Oh, and Paula might want back on, but that's just too damn bad because this whole rotating fill-in judge thing is shaping up to be a sweet deal. The newest star added to the guest panel is Shania Twain, and if she happens to break out into song with "That Don't Impress Me Much" following some wretched performance, you can just consider me the happiest girl in the world.

There are rumors -- vicious, vicious rumors -- that Friends creator Marta Kauffman has plans to adapt The Time Traveler's Wife into a TV series for ABC. We're just about as excited for this one as Mindy was about the movie.

What's more interesting is the new show HBO is developing, inspired by the autobiographies of former Rolling Stones producer and manager Andrew Loog Oldham. The show is said to be about "a young man living the high life with artists and hipsters in London's vibrant Soho scene in the early 1960s."

First Cartoon Network creates a bunch of reality shows that nobody really likes, and now there are rumors that Cartoon Network might drop the "Cartoon" from its name. That would leave it with just "Network," so, uhh, someone should probably think twice about that one.

Kelly Clarkson and LeBron James are hosting a special called Get Schooled: You Have the Right because not attending college clearly made their lives so much worse. The hypocrisy airs on September 8 on MTV, Nickelodeon, and BET.

CNN will present the Heroes: An All-Star Tribute awards ceremony on Thanksgiving night, because sometimes we care about real people. But mostly we just care that Anderson Cooper is hosting.

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane really wants an Emmy, so much so that he created a YouTube channel called "Where's My Emmy" and posted this really disturbing video of Stewie beating the crap out of Brian for saying he's going to vote for The Office. So I guess you might want to watch that, but probably not.

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