Reality casting directors wouldn't have to scour a place like Pasadena, Westchester or Marin County for long to find a wealthy family as white, messed-up, whiny, and politically divided as the Walkers. This thing has Bravo written all over it; I'm continually shocked that the network doesn't have this yet.
It would be like a serialized True Life meets that amazing movie Camp. Remember when MTV had that show where kids did High School Musical at a fat camp? It would be like that, but in a real high school, preferably somewhere conservative. And, probably not fat, though that's definitely not a deal-breaker for me.
It wouldn't be as hilarious as Cops (nothing's as hilarious as Cops), but it would probably be exciting to following a station house around on fire and paramedic calls in between the time they kill playing basketball and barbecuing during their 24-hour shifts -- especially if they had a Big Brother-type after-hours cam streaming somewhere so we could watch all the rookie hazing and pranks.
This could be a competition show for young doctors with a simple goal: don't kill anyone and don't get caught hooking up in the on-call room. The prize: an internship somewhere prestigious. But it might only last for one eternal season since, if the behavior on Grey's is anything to go by, nobody would ever win this thing.
Friday Night Lights
This is another one whose absence is weird. We have one- or two-off True Life episodes about this as well as the Alabama-based Two-a-Days (and many cheerleading-specific shows), but a full-fledged docudrama following a real high school football team in the cutthroat world of Texas intramurals would be fantastic, though it would be tricky to capture all the parents manipulating coaches into giving their sons more play time that is so integral to the scripted show. But my point is Saracen would be real, and he'd be a national treasure. Get on this, networks.
Hookers at the Point was a fantastic show, that Cathouse series was... really gross, but still great, so why don't we have any male prostitute shows? Especially if someone could find a gigolo that had a plucky female pimp who was willing to be on camera -- maybe with a disguised monster voice and pixelated face if one couldn't be found in Nevada, where we're told such businesses are legal.
Remember when A&E went behind the scenes at SNL a few years back and just kind of filmed them working through sketches and table reads late at night? That was endlessly entertaining. I'd watch that every week, even if it were just in webisode form.
Big Bang Theory
Nerds making Battlebots. Nerds making laser mazes for their living rooms. Nerds arguing over what to name their Halo clan. Nerds storing their money in Green Lantern's butt. Plus, the educational side-bonus of physics! Because I choose to believe in my heart that physicists are exactly like this in real life, I'm going to assume this would be the greatest reality show ever. And yet, we do not have it. As Sheldon would say while reviewing Leonard's work, "Wrong!"
Got any better ideas? Bring it!
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