BLOGS

TWoP 10: Shows That Heather Locklear Should Join Instead of Melrose Place

As expected, Heather Locklear has agreed to appear on the new version of Melrose Place as bitch queen Amanda Woodward. And while she's the best thing that could happen to that mediocre, at best, rehash of a series, this "show saver" could do so much better. We've got some ideas on shows she could improve just by being in their general vicinity.

1. Grey's Anatomy
This show needs some new blood, and not in the form of whiny new interns. There hasn't been an awesome new grown-up on this show since Addison, and it's about damn time. She can flirt with McSteamy and McDreamy and anyone else who might come along her path. And she and Alex would be fab together... you know, just in case he ever breaks up with Izzie. Plus, she knows her way around a hospital, since she did a short stint on Scrubs.

2. Heroes
Look, we need reasons to keep watching this show and while Robert Knepper is cool and creepy, we're pretty much tired of everything (and everyone) else. We're torn on what her power should be, but we've got it narrowed down to four: 1) Be able to go back in time to make it so the last two seasons never happened, 2) Erase our memories of the past two seasons, 3) Mind control the writers so they come up with better stories, and 4) Everyone she touches is instantly more awesome.

3. House
Wilson needs a new girlfriend, so why can't it be smokin' new oncologist Heather Locklear? She'll be his rival at work, but secret lover? So good. She'd also be a good sparring partner for Cuddy, and could put the fear of god into Thirteen so that she'd finally need to leave PPTH.

4. Southland
We'll admit that our reasoning for this is to see the TJ Hooker/CHiPs star back in a cop uniform, but this show is great and features strong performances and with its move to Friday night, we're a little worried it might need a little saving, ratings-wise. Locklear is that ratings draw.

5. V
This show hasn't debuted, so it doesn't need saving ... yet. But she's so perfectly suited to play one of the sexy aliens that we just had to put it on the list. In fact, since the lizard people are all insanely hot and can hide in human shells, we're not entirely convinced she isn't an alien. How else do you explain the fact that she never seems to age?

6. Ugly Betty
This show needs serious assistance, and we can think of few better to play a rival to Wilhelmina. She can be a former model and she can even try and sink her claws into now single Daniel. It will be so soapy and delicious.

7. The Big Bang Theory
We've met the women who begat the show's lovable science nerds, but we imagine that the person who birthed Penny has to be blonde and glamorous. Sounds like a role that is tailor made for Locklear.

8. The Good Wife
Let's put all of that time working on the somewhat political Spin City to good use on this new legal drama. It's a serious show, with some big talents, but it is missing something. Maybe that special ingredient is Locklear, who is a partner at a rival law firm with a specialty in political corruption cases. And since the former Amanda Woodward knows how to spread a rumor, we're sure she could leak some juicy stories about Alicia's husband.

9. Brothers & Sisters
These people keep having relatives pop-up all over the place, so might they invent a role for Holly's bitchy sister who works for some corporate giant that wants to make a hostile takeover of Ojai?

10. True Blood
After years on Dynasty and Melrose Place the actress knows a thing or five about preposterous and unbelievably soapy plots, and True Blood has them in spades. Since Maryann is finally gone, the show could really use another crazed omnipotent being to stir up trouble in Bon Temps. Though we'd be thrilled if she was a supreme leader of all vampires since we'd like to see her fangs come out.

What shows would you like to see Heather Locklear on? Sound off below.

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

MOST RECENT POSTS

BLOG ARCHIVES

The Telefile

February 2013

21 Entries

January 2013

62 Entries

December 2012

44 Entries

November 2012

59 Entries

October 2012

69 Entries

September 2012

66 Entries

August 2012

65 Entries

July 2012

51 Entries

June 2012

58 Entries

May 2012

68 Entries

April 2012

71 Entries

March 2012

68 Entries

February 2012

64 Entries

January 2012

78 Entries

December 2011

49 Entries

November 2011

56 Entries

October 2011

74 Entries

September 2011

77 Entries

August 2011

61 Entries

July 2011

56 Entries

June 2011

57 Entries

May 2011

57 Entries

April 2011

78 Entries

March 2011

73 Entries

February 2011

57 Entries

January 2011

65 Entries

December 2010

39 Entries

November 2010

45 Entries

October 2010

46 Entries

September 2010

62 Entries

August 2010

55 Entries

July 2010

53 Entries

June 2010

65 Entries

May 2010

59 Entries

April 2010

57 Entries

March 2010

67 Entries

February 2010

53 Entries

January 2010

59 Entries

December 2009

32 Entries

November 2009

47 Entries

October 2009

65 Entries

September 2009

66 Entries

August 2009

58 Entries

July 2009

72 Entries

June 2009

71 Entries

May 2009

50 Entries

April 2009

57 Entries

March 2009

66 Entries

February 2009

52 Entries

January 2009

56 Entries

December 2008

51 Entries

November 2008

71 Entries

October 2008

88 Entries

September 2008

86 Entries

August 2008

120 Entries

July 2008

115 Entries

June 2008

90 Entries

May 2008

44 Entries

April 2008

30 Entries

March 2008

26 Entries

February 2008

30 Entries

January 2008

44 Entries

December 2007

31 Entries

November 2007

66 Entries

The Latest Activity On TwOP