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The Telefile
<I>Hank</I>: Can We Just Pretend That This Show Never Existed? Thanks!

Here's the thing, it's not that I am a Kelsey Grammer hater -- I watched way too many seasons of Frasier, he was certainly one of the better parts of Fame and I love me some Sideshow Bob. However, his shows lately have been terrible. From the dreadful Back to You, which wasn't funny and starred Patricia Heaton (two big strikes in my book) to his current offering Hank, I've got to wonder if he actually reads these scripts before signing on for these projects or if he just wants a paycheck and a producer credit.

Hank is not only unoriginal, it features some of the most annoying things I've seen on a sitcom in a long time. I mean, I'd rather watch a Two and a Half Men marathon followed by a Gary Unmarried Season 1 viewing party with a chaser of every episode of Rules of Engagement than watch one more episode of Hank. When I spent most of my time trying to figure out if their house set was the one that they used for Growing Pains or the one from Mr. Belvedere or the one from Boy Meets World (they were all on ABC, so it could have been any/some or all of them), and that was the thing I remember best about the show, your series has some serious troubles.

I get that this show supposedly has a timely hook and the commercials have been promoting that fact. Hank's a big wig executive who is pushed out of his job in a corporate coup and forced to moved back to his wife's hometown in order to start all over again from scratch. It's a bad economy, people are making cutbacks. But that's actually not even the case here. Hank's just a mogul type who got too big for his britches and his staff hated him, so he got fired and he's a total asshole to all of his maids and employees. I can't imagine wanting to work for this dude, so I feel no sympathy for him. It's not like he got screwed over by some economic crisis that was out of his hands. And I am hard pressed to care about this self-involved twat who suddenly has to "slum" in a house that is freakin' gorgeous and way nicer than the home that I live in. Don't try and play the whole economy card on me, show.

And I don't even remotely feel sorry for his children, who are stereotypical teens (one's annoyed that she can't get cell service, the other is just generally nerdy) who have been brought up in this privileged life. And I definitely don't feel for his wife, who despite the fact that her husband is an asshat, continues not only to put up with him, but to blindly support him and have sex with him... a lot. Seriously, this entire premiere episode involves them attempting to have a lot of sex, and they try and make this funny by putting them in a little kid firetruck bed that has a bell on the top. So every time he's about to get laid, he rings the bell. It's the most fucking irritating thing I've seen on a show in a long time, and I watch a lot of crappy television.

Of course there's the wife's ever present brother, who serves only to annoy Hank, and to fulfill the archetype of both grating family member and buttinski neighbor. Two for one! Great, except that it totally isn't.

Anyway, if you can't figure it out by now, I really didn't like this show. Not one tiny little bit. I'm actually praying that it gets canceled quickly so that I don't ever have to think about it again. And I will probably feel a teensy bit bad if the cancellation sends Grammer back to the hospital with another heart attack, but only a little bit and frankly, I'm not the one who greenlit it in the first place. That's the person who should feel bad, not only for possibly sending Grammer into cardiac arrest, but also for inflicting this show on the American public.

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