Conan's Tonight Show speech about cynicism must have really had an impact on the usual TWoP trolls, as there were only 50 spam comments for booby tassels throughout the site this weekend. That's down 200 from last week!

If there was ever an era that was perfect to be made into a pay-cable TV series, it's ancient Rome. Courtly intrigue, coupled with the excesses that the Romans indulged in -- glorious conquest, opulent wealth, killing for entertainment, sex as a distraction from boredom -- form the perfect recipe for mass entertainment. Why else do you think Gladiator won an Academy Award? The HBO series Rome tried to capture that glory, and succeeded; unfortunately, it was too expensive to last more than two seasons. Starz is following a different route, however -- they're emulating the film 300, which re-created ancient Greece on a budget by using computers and green screens. There are sets in Spartacus, of course, but they're far from the massive exteriors of Rome, and most of their characters (like the Spartans in 300), require very little costuming. I don't know what budgetary category "washboard abs" falls under (catering?), but it ain't costumes.

While there are rumors that the Jersey Shore cast may film a second season this summer, chances are that it would never be as good as what we've been watching over the past couple months. Now that the cast is famous (at least by reality TV standards), there is no way that they could go out to a club without getting noticed, and worse yet, they will be much more gun shy about punching strangers for fear of getting sued for their newfound wealth. Plus, all vestiges of authentic behavior would evaporate as the cast manufactured drama strictly for the cameras - kind of like what happened after the first season of the now all-but-completely fake The Hills. But with that said, our lives would be emptier without these self-professed Guidos and Guidettes, so here are our suggestions for other reality shows that each Jersey housemate could join.

Today's headlines reign in quality, not quantity, which is ideal for the news but not for Jersey Shore episodes. How could MTV only give us 10 hours with these people? I, for one, could've watched an entire episode of JWoww fighting with her boyfriend on the mallard phone while Vinny lay in bed with pink eye.

It's official: Jeff and Jordan from last summer's Big Brother will be on the upcoming season of The Amazing Race (along with Caitlin Upton, the Miss Teen USA contestant who didn't know why Americans couldn't read maps). Despite the fact that Jordan won BB, these two are an odd choice for TAR since Jordan isn't exactly what you'd call a savvy world traveler, or a very smart person in general. So we're skeptical that they'll make it very far at all (though possibly further than Caitlin) and, much like Romber, it'll be weird to see (minor) celebrities and former reality stars competing against regular folks/aspiring reality stars. If TAR really wants to go that route, why not cast all the teams that way? These would be our dream pairings:

Some closure finally came to the NBC late night drama yesterday with a deal that ends Conan's reign as Tonight Show host, restores Jay Leno to it, and allows Conan to walk away with $32 million -- but none of his characters or signature bits. With the murky exception of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog (which may possibly be owned by Robert Smigel, not NBC), all of Conan's other creations will remain the property of NBC when he leaves after his final show tomorrow. Which sucks royally for Conan and the staffers who helped him create all those characters and bits over the past decade and a half, and, obviously, for us, because we won't get to see people like Preparation H Raymond ever again. Or will we? If NBC's going to retain all these things purely out of spite, they might as well do something with them. How about they do this crap? It's really no less ridiculous than locking Pimpbot 5000 in a vault and throwing away the key forever and ever.

Just because we try to ignore celebrities doesn't mean they'll go away. In fact, they get their own reality shows when they're at their least popular. Look at MC Hammer, for God's sake.

The folks over at ABC have decided to pick up the pilot for another Shonda Rhimes series. That'll be three on the network, if you're counting. And guess which genre it falls into? You'll never figure it out. Oh, wait, you just did: it's a medical drama. Yes, she's just that predictable. This one is called Off the Map and it's reportedly about three doctors who are fed up with their lives and decide to go work in a clinic on a tropical island. Sounds really original and inspired, doesn't it? It definitely does not remind us of when Grey's Anatomy's Addison was fed up with life in Seattle and decided to work at a Private Practice in warm, sunny Los Angeles. Since life is short and DVR space is sadly not infinite, we've decided to do potential viewers a service by revealing what you're likely to see on Rhimes' new show well in advance. Thank us later.

This is a happy news day, and not just because great things are happening for Glee. But FYI, great things are continuing to happen for Glee.

Once upon a time, we were introduced to a series about a smart, overtly sardonic, and extremely pessimistic upper-middle-class teenage girl dealing with day-to-day life in her American suburban town. Her name was Daria Morgendorffer and she ruled. Over a decade later, we are given the same synopsis, but instead of cartoons, we get real people who have maybe been cast, who may read from scripts. I'm talking, of course, about MTV's My Life As Liz.